How Tim Gunn Talked Me Through My First Day of Grad School...

Me: I can't get on the computer...the server is broken, the stinkin' stupid, computer is broken...are they crazy?...they can't run a global program with server problems!!!

TIM: Deborah, sit. You're getting little unattractive beads of sweat on your upper lip. Not good dear.

Me: Well! What am I supposed to do? What if my professor thinks I'm not there? Or thinks I'm not enrolled? I mean, REALLY?

TIM: Oh! You mean, the instructor of perhaps dozens of other people besides you in a class that's web-based? Yes. Oh, he's definitely concentrating on YOU right now.

Me: Tim, are you being sarcastic? Cause it sounds like you're being, you know, sarcastic.

TIM: Well, *chuckle* yes Deborah. Actually I was a bit sarcastic right there. But did I get your attention? Huh? Okay. Just let the people who are in charge of the servers do their work and you can check back later...okay?....now! Let's go blot that lip before you frighten some children. Carry on.