Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Well, thx Em...

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Ahhhh, the sound of laughing kids and the smell of burning leaves...this is the Halloween I recall of my youth and now that I'm back in the town of my youth and my children's youth as well, my memory is flooded with images of hackneyed costumes, smeary faces and sugar rushes.

I think Halloween is one of the few holidays that retain a fun flair for adults...we get to "play" as well, as the kids. My sister and I were cooking up ideas for her grandchildren involving burying a flashlight in a cauldron of dry ice (my're welcome) to give the light a life of its own...step aside Spielberg...

And later I'm picking up a pizza and heading to my brother's house to climb in his sick bed with him and watch movies...hell hath no fury like a wickedly evily sister with a pizza and a plan...heh heh heh

And that is it for today from's a Buckeye out.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Hopefully, this is the last fire blog....

As I was driving to the San Diego Airport yesterday morning, my husband and I took the "back way" over the mountains to Emmy's house. I wanted to stop at Em's house and print out my boarding pass and say goodbye to her and the kiddies and let Peter see the kids, especially Clarkie.

Anyway, remember that this back way was the escape route that Em and I had strategically planned in the event that she and her family had to evacuate. Much to my surprise and chagrin, parts of my beautiful drive and scenery were scorched beyond recognition due to the recent fires. But the most distressing part of the drive was that it was soooo close to my daughters very very close. I actually wept as I drove through this post-apocalyptic scenery that got so close to Em's house and realized how blessed she was to have escaped, especially in light of El Nino winds, which picked up the winds and blew the fires arbitrarily, increasing the dangers and difficulty in predicting their behavior and controling them.

When we left her house and traveled along the 15-South to the San Diego Airport, the destruction continued but it was amazing to see evidence of the power of prayer and hardwork. There were acres of blackened destruction with spots of greenery right in the middle of it and I marvel at the little animals that must have huddled in there (those that were trapped who hadn't already escaped). Also, there were houses, completely unharmed within acres of burnt rubbled and blackened acreage. Again, it was very moving and we were in awe as we drove past. It was almost a sacred experience, not unlike one feels at a funeral...rather reverential, for what has passed. Fallbrook is known for its fertile valleys and I've always referred to it as the Garden of Eden, because that's what it looks like when you visit it...

Anyway, here's to the firefighters and the community, the birds, the grass, the trees, the flowers, the shrubs, the field mice, the cats, the dogs, and all creatures great and small..."and all creeping things"

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Descartes Cogito: I think, therefore I am.

Rene Descarte, a French scientist and philosopher from the 17th century is messing with my life. Because he had a crisis of faith, he is messing with my GPA and sucks up 3 hours of my life a week, not to mention the mental torment he puts me through writing papers. His is the famous, "I think, therefore I am"...referred to as "Descartes cogito". His name is pronounced "Day-cart"...almost everything is silent...the French have a twisted sense of language...hence their influence on words in our vocabular such as thorough (why the "g"?) and elephant (really? "ph" makes an "f" sound?). Hahahahah...those French...good thing they make a tasty croissant (another tricky word) and to quote a recently deceased comedian, "The French may have invented the flaky croissant, but it took American ingenuity to slap a piece of crappy, shiny cheese on it and call it a breakfast food".

But I digress...Back to Descarte (this name sounds even more ominous if you can say it through your nasal passages and keep the "t" silent)...he came up his cogito because he postulated "what if everything I ever knew was false?" This would be a terrible thing to ponder at its deepest level. One would come to doubt, eventually, one's own existence. Finally, he decided that if he could think a thought, any thought, he must be a sentient being...he MUST exist.

My assignment for my next paper is to construct an argument to contradict this. Really? Descarte was a genius, recognized as one of the greatest minds in all of science...philosophy...history...a mind equal to that of Galileo, Socrates, Plato...and I, me, a little white-haired lady with a bum knee who can't remember the name of the comedian she just quoted above has to counterpoint one of the most famous statements of existence in the world? my GPA begins to descend, I feel like the Titanic...I sink, therefore I am.

Thanks Descarte...thanks a lot.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


Although this is the LA skyline, this is the color of the sky creeping over the mountain I drive over to get to Em's's headed right this way. The air quality is horrible already...not as bad as poor Em's got but it's increasing as I write this. The sky was normal this morning when I walked the boys about 11:30 but by the time I picked up little Eli at 3:15, it was already turning the color of rust.

I stepped away from the blog for a's now 5:07 and the sun is filtering through the haze. It's a huge bright orange orb, actually quite pretty, the upside of the fires, but it's creepy nonetheless.

I changed my plans for Ohio to arrive Monday instead of tomorrow because of the fires and difficulty getting to the San Diego Airport. We'll see. Emmy is keeping us up to date with photos, etc. Okay, back to sky out

Wednesday, October 24, 2007



The books are all nonfiction...

1. The Psychic Life of Abraham Lincoln: Susan B. Martinez, Ph.D.: way cool stuff about the 16th was the height of Spiritualism in the country...he used to lock himself in his dark room with only an old woolen shawl and his rocking chair and when he would go into his trance state one of his eyes would roll back halfway under his lid...hmmmm...big hmmmmm...I had heard of his "3 whites eyes" photographs so I'm excited to get this. The author has cred so bring it on sistah.

2. Awakening Into Oneness, The Power of Blessing In the Evolution of Consciousness. Arjuna Ardagh. From the inside flap, "A fascinating discovery in southern India has caught the attention of spiritual teachers from every tradition, is the phenomenon called the Oneness Blessing, (also known as "deeksha" in the East), a powerful transfer of energy believed to elicit the realization of unitive consciousness...[the author] shares dozens of firsthand accounts of the Oneness Blessing's life-changing effects...from the mystical children who first experienced exploration at the Oneness Univ under the guidance of esteemed teachers.....[their names]...This sounds a lot like a research paper I did on a sect called Subud out of Indonesia...especially the part of "passing" the enlightenment along...therefore I'm curious how it's done, "authority", know...curiousity central...

3. The Divine Matrix: Bridging Time, Space, Miracles, and Belief by Gregg Braden. From the flap, "There is a place where all things begin, the place of pure energy that simply "is." In this quantum incubator for reality, everything is possible. In 1944, Max Planck, the father of quantum theory, shocked the world by saying that this "matrix" is where the birth of stars, the DNA of life, and everthing between originates. Recent discoveries reveal dramamtic evidenced that Planck's matrix, the Divine Matrix, is real. It is this missing link in our understanding that provides the container for the universe, the bridge between our imagination and our reality, and the mirror in our world for what we create in our beliefs....Through 20 keys of conscious creation, we're shown how to translate the miracles of our imagination into what is real in our lives...again, hmmmmm. I just finished making a vision board for our house in's a work in progress...I'm still looking for pictures of water. I have an interior brick wall, fireplaces (2), broad wood planks for walls and floors, warm colors and lots of I'm all about visualizing.

4. DVD, 2012 The Odyssey. About Mayan prophecies with comments from Alberto Villoldo (healer) and others...from the cover, "A metaphysical tour of time, space, philosophy and spirituality. This is an eye-opining film"...New Dawn Magazine (Jennifer Hoskins) Oh hecks yea....get the popcorn ready TT, Duck, Jette, Eli, Abby and Bubby, I am coming home and...('ll be beating me in Scrabble)
Posted on Oct


I spoke with Emily this morning and all appears well. She can still see fires but the winds cooperated and her family and community appear to not be in danger at this time and we are grateful, to say the least. I'm grateful to my son-in-law for his calmness and his Priesthood. He is a man of faith and I couldn't be happier that he and Emmy are in this together...I loathe sounding cliche' but they really do complete each other.

Well, I'm breathing sighs of relief and offering up prayers of gratitude for my sweet little family and for friends who offered prayers in their to pray for others less fortunate that they will survive this ordeal and be able to start fresh with the faith they need.

Thanks out

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

SoCal fires...too close to the babies for comfort

Southern California is on fire...and not in the good prayers would be appreciated. Many homes and businesses have been lost and we can only guess at the hopes and dreams that have taken a hit from this.

The fires and smoke and ash are too close to Emily and her family and friends while I type these words. I just got off the phone with her. I'm going to ready my home (as ready as my dusty old house with the two dogs and two guys I live with can be) for her and her sweet family to come to, as well as any friends they bring. The frustration level heightens as time flies by because roads OUT of their location are closing down due to the fire-containment and safety issues. The back way is still open. By "back way" I'm referring to my personal favorite way of going over the mountains, through the mountain meadows, and from Em's persective gradually descending in altitude and watching the delightful change, not only in scenery but in vegetation until you get to my valley, which is cacti and huge rocks...hence, the relative safety from fire. On the map, from Em's house it would be the 79 South, to the 371 to the 74 which turns into Montery and goes virtually directly to my convenient. I'll leave the light on...there's no trail of smoke to follow to my place kid.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Listening to the hubby....the journey continues...

Peter doesn't like it when I post about him...I don't know why, he just doesn't have a real comfort level with it. So I've cut so much caffeine. Here's my one splurge and please pass the Mountain Dew while I'm at it...

Last week, we were sitting at Sacrament was a missionary farewell. I realized I had to go home to get my temple recommend paperwork for my stake interview, which I was scheduled for during the next hour. I had sat through most of the was at the point where several of the missionary's cousins, ages fetus through 3 weeks were playing violins and singing hymns before he spoke so I thought I'd slip out and drive home to pick up the missing paperwork and drive back in time for my meeting. Peter said, "The meeting is almost over, just stay and go home after the meeting ends".

I "default" to stubborn and repled mindlessly, "I can go now and get back before my interview with time to spare, why not leave now"?

Calmly, quietly, without sighing, he turned his Christian Bale eyes upon me and only said one word, "Please".

If Peter Leighton asked me to murder someone and then added that magic word "please" at the end of the request and used that face I would reply, "Certainly, I'll be in the library with the candlestick".

The point of the story, however, is this. Had I left the meeting early, when I had wanted to and NOT listened to Peter, I would have very likely been involved in a horrible accident at the intersection I have to travel through to get home. It was ugly. And though I was late for my interview, at least I MADE IT to my interview.

So, that's it about Peter for awhile...I'm back on the wagon again...for a bit...

Friday, October 19, 2007


Yes, it's true. Philosophy dismantles one's brain and mind and attempts to take apart one's soul in the process. However, when an individual is wearing protective gear and shields of truth and clarity, this thwarts the adversary/professor; shining light on darkness. Of course, while your mental clarity and sanity is being saved, you look like you "don't get it", when in fact, you "GET IT" to the nth degree and will be more than happy to explain to anybody who will listen; either here, in the spirit world or in whatever various kingdom they end up in.

So have a seat Professor, this could take awhile...cause the 2nd picture of that mess of outrageous chaos will reassimilate into a bigger, happier face and you and your hero, Rene Descartes, who probably ALREADY GETS IT at its deepest, most spiritual levels, will be warmly invited to spend some time with me and 13 million of my closest friends as we try, one more time, to explain to you with graphs, constructed arguments, and texts, what TRUTH really is. Also, we'll be using as our primary teaching tool something called, "our testimonies" based on a thing we call might want to look that one up...and consider writing a paper on that'll be due at the coming of Christ...the grade?...He'll be the judge of that.

Thursday, October 18, 2007


We've just been through several days of wind and sand...the nights are the worst. We live in one of the windiest spots on the globe, hence the acres and acres of windmills (called wind farms). Winds can gust up to 60 mph when you go on certain parts of the I-10 and your car takes a pounding but it's all in a day's work here. I freak out but I'm in the minority.

Sometimes, when returning from Joshua Tree National Forest, as we travel through a particular mountain pass, actually right over the St. Andreas fault, the winds blow so hard, my arms aren't strong enough to control the car and I break into a panic attack. I don't know why I'm always the one driving at that point. I have to wake Peter up and ask him to take control of the vehicle so our lives will be spared another day, which he calmly does with his Popeye forearms.....whatev.

Anyway, it's not that wind just blows...that would be's the dust and other particles it carries. Everyone around here has a mucousy, snuffly, central facial region, making us the least attractive paradise on earth...oh sure, the weather is the people are coughing and hacking and everything is covered in a fine layer of dust and sand...I can't even imagine what our lungs look like.

That being said, I booked a flight to C-bus, Ohio, for October 27th (?)'s a Friday anyway. I will be arriving at approximately 7:00 P.M. on the Skybus out of San Diego, unless the powers that be tell me different. Itineraries have been emailed...

Now, time to sweep out my car...

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


From one of my favorite links at the bottom of my blog...1000 Days At Sea...they're amazing. Please check them out. Please offer a prayer for them as they continue with their efforts. Each day is a new adventure.

"In Honor of Blog Action Day for the Environment, the 1000 Days At Sea group would like to express their solidarity with any and all action taken to preserve and protect our planet, and most importantly our Oceans. Our bodies are mostly water, and so is our beloved Earth. It is the water of our planet which sustains us and allows us to live in comfort and plenty."

Saturday, October 13, 2007


So, I went to pick up my glasses today at the mall. They look amazingly similar to these pictured...only charcoal. They are, in fact, almost exactly like my dad's glasses that he wore my entire life. Interesting, given my previous post.

Anyway, this sweet little wizened French man fitted me for the glasses. He was an optometrist...not the one who did my exam, but another one. He didn't have to fit me but he did. He put his little cold hands on each side of my head (they felt wonderful) and placed my glasses on my eyes. The first thing I looked at was his little sweet face. It was totally need for "getting used to" my lenses or anything, just POP, he was there, beautiful and clear...he smiled.

Then he said in his cute little accent, "Let's do the reading test, shall we?" He asked me to read the smallest line that I could. I did. I automatically looked at the middle of the page as this is the most "bottom" I usually get to, but realized I could go further down...I dropped further, still clear...further, still clear...ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM. Never in my eyes' little life have we ever done that!!! And then, I looked at the vision that matches the clarity of the paragraph (or ability) next to that level and it was 20/20!!!!! I said, "It's 20/20!!! He just smiled. I looked up at him speechless. When I found my voice, I whispered, "I've never seen 20/20 before, ever."

He stood up, pulled my chair out, held his arm out like he was asking me to dance, and said, "Come, walk with me" and we walked around the store and out into the mall. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was wonderful. By the time I got back I was wiping tears off my cheeks. He sat me down and gave me lots of nice things to clean my glasses with and polish them and a very nice hard case for them. And then he said, "Well, that is it. Are you sure you are ready to leave?" I assured him I was. I held his hands for a long time. He told he was from Varilux, France, the city that designed my lenses. He was very proud of the work they did. I think it was just as emotional for him as it was for me. 20/20!!!!!!!

I finally left and guess where I walked to?...STRAIGHT TO BARNES AND and my perfect eyes..and I read my way from the front to the back.....and every thing was loverly.

Jewish Fathers...

I woke up crying...what is my current obsession with my Jewishness...must be Frankl maybe?...babies trying to get here?...don't know...

Anyway, I had a wonderful dream last night. I was sitting in a beautiful ornate dining room. The kind with big crystal chandeliers, beautiful linen tablecloths and napkins, fine crystal...a ballroom setting, quite lovely. I dream of these settings a lot...these gatherings of family and feasting, very nice.

So, I was at a table with Peter and others and the topic of Jewish fathers came up. I was trying to explain the experience, in my family anyway, of the fathers and daughters..this profound emotional connection shared between the fathers enveloped their daughers with this amazing tide of love and feeling cherished. We daughters were walking/talking treasures and felt that way with our fathers. I'm speaking of myself and my cousin Vicki. That's my experience. As I grew older, I learned of the Jewish Princess and saw it through my filter but the stereotype of the whiney, spoiled rich girl didn't seem to fit my experience of the middle class, chubby, only-a-princess-in-the-eyes-of-her-father reality.

In the dream, as I explained this emotionally nourishing and greatly satisfying relationship, my mind was flooded with multiple images of my dad and I. I was NOT an attractive child. I had no discernible talents. I was average in every sense. I didn't talk much. My life was very inward. I spent far too much time alone...I was a "bouncer" of those kids you see in institutions or, as I like to say, Bosnian orphanages, just bouncing away in my perfect little silent life...until my dad arrived and then I was EVERYTHING...loved, pretty, talented, funny, something...a grownup that looked at me and smiled when he walked into the amazing feat in the unenlightend 50s and 60s. Poor mom had her hands full...bless HER heart. Dad died when I was 17, about a month before I graduated from high school and that was it.

Anyway, as I was explaining this wonderful father/daughter relationship at this dream table, Pops came into my mind. Pops (my Jewish stepfather) married my Mom when I was only 19 years old (I'm 51 now and he's 94) and it occured to me in the dream that since he developed some senile dimentia, our relationship has, ironically, become more and more like my dad's and mine. He makes me feel loved, funny, valued and treasured. I know, I know, you have to be a little demented to love me...yea, ask my ex-husband. But, what a blessing he has become to me. A few months ago I was in Ohio and we were both standing at the kitchen sink, he, age 94 and I, 51 and we were both taking "fiber"...and I said to him, "Jeesh Pops, you've been around long enough for you and I to take our evening fiber together...whodda thunk it?" and we both laughed.

Well, this is turning into a post much longer than I wanted or expected...must be cathartic. So, again in the dream, as I was extolling the virtues of Jewish fathers, I felt the weight and love of generations of Jewish men for their daughters falling forward, that's the best description I have for it. And then my sons came to my mind. And I woke up crying because I know it will be carried forward through my sons...this ability to love and cherish and make their daughters understand their worth, especially in this day and age. I woke up with a full heart...just needed to get it out. Spirit of Elijah thing...I feel more and more...those grand babies waiting to show up... Love to all.

Thursday, October 11, 2007


Well, I have made e-friends with a great lady in the Southwest named Anna Redsand. She published a book for adolescents. It's a biography on Viktor Frankl; A Life With Meaning. He was the amazing young man (then) who survived FOUR Nazi concentration camps. He survived because he choose his attitude each and every day. This became the whole meaning of his life. He studied it and devoted his life to helping others understand how they can survive anything. In fact, it has been called the third form of psychotherapy to come out of Vienna; the first being psychoanalysis (Freud); Adlerian (Adler); and now "logotherapy" with Frankl...logotherapy-knowledge of self. One can see how knowledge of choosing one's attitude would be beneficial for troubled adolescents...brilliant! What better or more effective tool for a teen than his or her own MIND!!!... Or any of us for that matter!!! Dr. Frankl was connected...heavenly connected! Don't you just know when he passed in 1997, the Savior was there with open arms saying, "Come 'ere big guy..."

Well, I just placed the Lord in a locker room of sorts, but you get my gist. There was lots and lots of love that I can't type without crying. That whole Nazi thing...

Anyway, after I ordered the book, I was randomly looking at the site of a magazine that I am interested in and recently subscribed to. The magazine is called The Sun, and there was a quote by Frankl on the homepage...I found that favorite word, you know...anyway...he was quoted about people that suffer...good people who SEEM to suffer or feel that they are suffering...when bad things happen to good people...etc. He said something so wise. Think about all of the good people we know who have loved and many...I have to paraphrase the words because I cannot find the direct quote...which means it's totally stuck in my head and that's a good thing. Frankl said something like this:

"If one is to be a light, one must expect to sometimes be burned"

So, as we read in our spiritual texts, Frankl, our Jewish brother, verifies for us experientially. To lead others, one must sometimes be on fire.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Broccoli...World's meanest vegetable...the satan of the garden....the broccoli beguiled me....and boy, did I....oh well....

Today is beautiful outside. I wouldn't know too much about it as I've been on a very short leash...very close to the toidy...big dinner last night with big bowls of steamed brocolli with cheese sprinkled over it...such a pretty green color that beckons to the diner..."come, partake, ignore that feeling of fullness, that's just your common sense, you've never listened to it before, why start now?....come, let us go over here and watch some Steven Cobert together...that's nice isn't it....oh!, get that cheese crumble..hmmmmm, aren't we having fun?"

Stupid brocolli.

Monday, October 8, 2007


I belong to a scholarship website where people who grovel for scholarship money get to post to various forums. One of the forums asked the question,"What is the final thing you would like to view before you die?" Yea, it's a real "up" forum...I read the various responses; most of them from much younger people, and without the gospel. I was saddened by their responses. They have no idea what's beyond here. They're fearful. They are full of sadness for those they leave behind; not a sweet sadness that speaks to an eventual reunion, but a sadness that echoes eternal separation and hollow hopelessness.

As I pondered the question, it occurred to me that there is no "final" thing or view, really, is there? Perhaps there is a final mortal view, but it fades to immortality so, as I pondered the forum question, I came up with this scenario.

As I transitioned from mortality to immortality, I believe I would like to see all of my family together and have them just not smiling, but lauging...HARD...really really laughing...the kind of laugh where we hurt in our ribs. And as I transition, I would love to have that laughter ringing in my ears and their smiling faces fading out and the Savior's smiling face appearing and His arms opening...and THAT would be my transition....BEST DAY EVER.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Another original (?) movie

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!
Sis, forgive me....

It's October, time for fear AND sarcasm....

funny new site. Go to the "home" feature to get to know this guy. He is fun.

Anyway, given that it is October...a traditionally creepy month...I am going to combine my love of humor AND sarcasm with a hint of creepy thrown in. I am going to periodically post (and by post, I mean steal) one of this young man's wonderful "be careful" posters...they are hysterical. To begin?....the terrible turtle...take care... me out.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Some more Ohio heart my heart

FAIRY HUNT PICS....TA DA!!!! (Thx Em...)

Here are the pics from the fabulous fairy hunt that was recently held in Worthington, Ohio...oh what joy! Lots of fairy fun and treats were had by all.

Dove Onslaught

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Monday, October 1, 2007


Well, a loverly week was spent in O-H...I-O, (yea, that's an Ohio State thang). The weather was celestial, the leaves were just beginning to turn and of course, God was vacationing there while we were there...He has a slightly pricier zip code...but I digress.

One night, I had all four grandkids at my mother's home. Actually, her house is connected to my sister's larger one and the backyard is beautiful with lots of plants and statuary and fun things...and by FOUR grandkids, I'm actually talking about THREE because Clarkie is only 4 months old and didn't really avail himself of the opportunity at hand...whatev....

Anyway, I told the kids (and Emily was so delightfully on board with this...she is such a big kid herself) that there had been recent fairy sightings in Worthington. We were going to do this at Abby and Eli Bowman's house is downtown Worthington but it didn't work out. Anyway... There had been a band of flower fairies and a band of mischievious "pirate fairies"...yea, I know....but still, the spell was cast. Eric, my oldest son, jumped on the wagon and said he had seen glitter throughout the back yard the night before and had wondered himself if the fairies had made a run through. Emily confirmed that she had also heard rumors.

Well, I told them that sometimes the fairies leave treasures that can only be found by really lucky children....and I felt relatively certain that these particular fairies had left somethings behind and if we were lucky enough, we could find some evidence of fairy treasure.

Oh my gosh....well, the goofy grandkid alert sounded and all hands were on board. We all trudged next door to ask "Aunt Duck", my sister, for permission to search her flower and vegetable garden for fairy treasure...this is part of the excitement...she said, "Of course" and also backed up the fairy sighting rumors...Man, can this family pour it on or what???

We all fell over each other to get outside: Those in attendance were Alex (10), Emma Jane (9), Mae (3, going on 30), Emmy (29 going on 9), Bubby (26) and me (eternally 10). We searched everywhere and sure enough, Emma found a treasure, Mae also found a treasure (these were left by the flower fairies) and Alex found the treasure chest (so cool, I want one so bad), left by the pirate fairies (yea, I know, I know) complete with pirate pearls, fairy stones, gold and silver coins, silk leaves and other way cool stuff.

A great time was had by all. Em is going to post pics, which I will most likely steal from her blog and post to mine...

What I found the most interesting of all of this was, when Alex found his pirate fairy treasure and picked it up, I found a mad cool marble beside his chest...I love cool marbles...I did NOT put it there...synchronous...or a gift from the fairies...either way, it's in my hot little hands now....and a big THANK YOU to the marble giver.

Love to all, further Ohio posts out.