Thursday, November 4, 2010


This is the cover of Portia De Rossi's new book, "Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain". I will be purchasing this today or tomorrow. I respect anyone who has journeyed into the abyss of disordered eating and come out-not only intact, but whole and, perhaps even healthier. Bravo. No easy task.

I have been all over the spectrum on these things. I have been in a size 24 and I have been wee tee tiny-too tiny...medically too tiny-if there is such a thing. The daunting task about eating disorders, from my perspective, and I know whereof I speak, is that they appear to be a lifetime commitment. I have to treat my eating disorder, which, frankly, is restrictive anorexia, like sobriety. When I see pictures of incredibly thin people, it is like liquor to an alcoholic. I have to learn to be rational about it and keep it within a boundary.
(above-me coming back)

What I'm saying is this: This book of Ms. De Rossi's, is reported to be beautiful and honest and authentic, and it also might be "thinspiration" (images that promote anorexia) to a lot of anorexics who are struggling. A lot of females (and some males) are going to buy this book and fall off the wagon because they're not strong enough. It's not Ms. De Rossi's fault. Thinspiration is all around, but this book is already intoxicating and yes!...I haven't even read it yet, but the cover is killing me and I've listened to the talk shows and all I'm hearing is "I got down to 82 lbs". That's enough for some of us. That's enough...

I guess the purpose of this post/rant is, if anyone out there is struggling, I'm planning on reading her book but more importantly her final chapter over and over and over and over. Because she would not have written that book without some redemption and healing. I know there are probably pictures of her thinness. I know she will talk about the restrictiveness. I know that those are components that are attractive to anorexics and people that are NOT disordered eaters will never understand. But her healing is also in there. And we have to read that. We HAVE to read that...over and over and over and over and over.

And then we have to eat a big greasy hamburger...with someone who loves us...even if it's only ourselves.



Blasé said...

You are correct, we nondisorder eaters cannot understand.

I lost a dear friend to that many years ago. She was in her early twenties. I was a pallbearer.

I found myself getting angry at her (to myself) because it just didn't make sense to me.

I realize there is nothing I can say to you that will help...but I just want you to know that I care and will hope that you overcome this challenge.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the deer that it can be done.

I made that up!

The Katzbox said...

Blase'-You're a deer ;)

All is well. I have been in control for a good bit. Like I said, I have to treat it like sobriety, so when something like Portia's book puts it in the media, it's a little tough, but it will die down and all will be well. I'm sorry about your friend.

Portia took questions today on the Ellen show. One of the audience members asked, "What should I say to someone that I think is anorexic?" It was a very good question because when someone says, "You look too thin", it's kind of a compliment, in a weird way.

Anyway, she answered her by saying, "Tell your friend that she looks ill, or not well, or anything that could be construed as not attractive" because that's how you get an eating-disordered person's attention. I paraphrased her, BTW.


Thanks for commenting.

Anonymous said...

weight is such a weight. (sigh)

The Katzbox said...

Nancy-well put.

Blasé said...

"Tell your friend that she looks ill, or not well, or anything that could be construed as not attractive"

I'm glad you told me that. You know, that is what I would think you wouldn't say. hmmm..

The Katzbox said...

Blase', I's counter-intuitive. But for the eating-disordered, particularly the anorexic, it's ALL about the appearance. If she doesn't look good (which is what she's struggling so hard to do) then that's how you get her attention. It is tough to starve yourself. No easy when her efforts are actually NOT paying off, she has to pay attention.

There are sites that are dedicated to anorexics (anorexics call themselves "annas"). They're on such places as "LiveJournal". They're very dark. They inspire each other and show images of "thinspiration" and talk about techniques. They compare numbers and sizes. Annas are very very competitive. If I was counseling an anna, I would tell her to avoid those sites at all costs. They're like an alcoholic going to a bar, or even more like an opium addict going to opium dens...very destructive...


vixen kitten said...

Powerful post, Sugar.