So....this morning I was in a hurry. People were coming over, I had to get dressed, wash up...you know. I scrubbed my teeth, brushed my hair, and ran the water to get it warm so I could wash my face. I'm a pretty basic girl when I'm in a hurry. Soap and water do the trick for me, followed by a slap of moisturizer. So...the water got warm, I worked up a lather with the soap, and commenced to slather my face with the bubbles. I did the basic "up and down" movement with my open palms going over my face...picked up speed...and then it happened.
As my hands were traveling up my face, from my chin to my forehead, apparently the super slippery, careless nature of my speedy washing allowed for each of my pinky fingers to slide, rapidly and rather violently, up each nostril until they couldn't really go any further and came to a violent stop somewhere at my septum. Tears sprang to my immediate blood-shot eyes. I rinsed off the remaining soap and blotted my face dry. My nose was screaming at me, though I was relatively certain it was pretty clean, what with the soapy suds and all. I could have killed myself by my own pinkies. It was ugly. What the heck?
This is payback from the church pew thing. I know it. I heard you God. Loud and clear.