Wednesday, December 16, 2009

MY MOM LOVES ELLEN DEGENERES

This is an actual telephone conversation with my almost-90-year-old mother.

MOM: Debbie, I need you to do me a favor.

ME: Sure.

MOM: I found Ellen's "e" thing so you can write her a letter.

ME: ?

MOM: Here's what I want you to say.

ME: Wait, wait, wait. Do you mean you found Ellen's email address? And you want me to write her an email for you?

MOM: That's what I said!

ME: Oh!

MOM: Here's what I want you to write. "Dear Ellen, I love you. I have always loved you. I want to see your face before I'm dead. I want to see you by cane, by wheelchair, or by casket. I just love you!" Can you send that for me?

ME: ?

MOM: You know. I watched her shows when NO ONE watched her shows.

ME: Really Mom? Cause she's been pretty pop--

MOM: Yes, even when no one watched that one show of hers, I was right there. I just love her and I need to see that adorable little blue-eyed face of hers before I die.

ME: You know, I live in California, Mom, and you've never been out this way to see me...ever.

MOM: Well, I'll get out there for Ellen, by cane, wheelchair, or cask--

ME: Got it.

MOM: Now, if Ellen asks you if I want anything, you just tell her "No. I have everything I need and I'm not doing this to get anything."

ME: Okay.

MOM: Remember, if she asks what I want, you tell her nothing.

ME: I'm on it.

MOM: But if she stays after you about it and almost pesters you, tell her I really miss the pinky ring my late husband bought for me, that I lost. Tell her that.

ME: Gosh Mom...I just don't think that El--

MOM: Tell her I really miss my husband.

ME: You bet.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

and while you're at it, include that your DIL and her two adorable children really, really love her too and watch her every day! :) We'd love to tag along. :)

-abby

I should really just log my mom out and post as me. too lazy I guess.

Linda said...

Debbie - DO IT !!!

Anonymous said...

this is toooooo funny! i love it.

here's what i think you should do, deb: send ellen the transcript of your blog post. send it just as it is. i think ellen would totally love it.

ps - this REALLY IS me, not abby. :)

Emmy said...

We should get tickets and then tell the people when they call with the information about this. . . I am going to get tickets. we'll go from there. LOVE!
xoxo-emmy

Jette said...

If you don't do this I will. I don't care about the money or anything. I'll help. Just get her out there!!


PS...can I tag along too?!

Emmy said...

Okay, I tried to get tickets for a Wednesday showing in February. It didn't go any furter out than that. So, let's see what we can do. I signed up for 4 tickets, so. . . there's one more ticket, folks!!

Emmy said...

further. . any further out.

FURTER?

The Katzbox said...

So now you're TYPING with a German accent? I wish we could all go...and let's not sit in the riff raff room this time...

I love all of this encouragement. I would adore seeing my mom's face light up when she walked into that studio...it would just be the most incredible moment and she would talk about it forever...

We'll see....

Diane said...

I wanna come!

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Anonymous said...

Good brief and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you as your information.

Anonymous said...

Well I agree but I contemplate the brief should secure more info then it has.