“Stop laughing at your brother! Can’t you see he’s trying to get a dumpling out of his nose?”
Mom:”What is this?!?A condom!?!?Are you sexually active?!(Holding up a yogurt wrapper with the silver side facing her)
Me:”Ummm…That’s a yogurt wrapper, mom..”
Mom:”(turns the label towards herself) ohh…well..Don’t let me catch you eating in here!!”
(This particular comment garnered 13 "sassbacks"
“I must have been on drugs when I did this! …It looks like something a hobo would do!”
- My grandma, looking at an old piece of embroidery.
You can’t get a cat, a cat would pee in the butter and not tell you
Parents(talking to me and siblings): All we’re saying is that we would and will accept any of you if you’re gay!
(parents look pointedly at me)
Me: I’m NOT gay!
Mom: But Honey! It’s okay, just say it! it’s nothing to be ashamed of!
“Where is your pornography section?”
- My father, upon entering the bookstore I work in for the first time.
Mum: “He was one of those people who wear black tight jeans, with that weird hair that covers one eye. You know……..nemo.”
My mum as she walks into my room: “It smells like incest in here. Oh no wait, incense! INCENSE!”
We were being loud in the car when my Dad said
SHUT UP I CAN’T SEE!!!! (personally, I almost understand this...)
Grandma: This baby isn’t as cute as her sister is. She’s going to have problems in life.
Me: She’s seven hours old?
me: why are you pushing the buttons on the phone so hard?
grams: well the phone number is on the other side of the river so you have to push harder to send the signal all the way over there.
Gran: “Well, no wonder he needs pills to get an erection! They’re in separate bathtubs!”
- My 90 year old grandma, after watching that Cialis commercial.
“Great grandma? Do you think my dress is too short?”
“Not at all, honey. You’re young. Your mother just doesn’t remember what it’s like to be young. She always was a bit conservative. Unlike your grandma. Now, she was a hussie”
The website is: http://crazythingsparentssay.com/