Thursday, March 4, 2010

DO THE NEAR-ELDERLY MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG?


Well, well, well. Note to self. Do not EVER read research that address my generation. Never.

In a recent article I meant to briefly scan but unfortunately fell into like the sneaky rabbit hole it is, I read that Boomers, people aged 55-64 years old, are now considered "near-elderly". While I'm not quite there yet (what time is it, badda bing!), I have never considered anyone in that age range "near-elderly" *. What in the world...

The article discussed research from 2007 that maintains the "near-elderly" are costing the U.S. a boat-load of health care money; even more than the "real" elderly.

I don't know what to make of that, but what really has me intrigued is the modifier "near". That's a big loop hole, ain't it? Because I can think of lots of things to say that would be considered offensive, or kind, or loving, or mean, but their meanings could quite possibly change entirely if one was to put the word "near" or "nearly" in front it.

For instance:

I love you in that hat....I nearly love you in that hat.

My dog got hit by that car....My dog nearly got hit by that car.

She's a beauty.....She's a near beauty.

The vampire is dead....The vampire is nearly dead.

You'll sleep tonight....You'll nearly sleep tonight.

Peter? Do these pants make my butt look big?.....Don't even try it, Pete.






* Source: AHRQ, Center for Delivery, Organization, and Markets, Healthcare Cost and Utilization Project, Nationwide Inpatient Sample (NIS), 2007

3 comments:

Emmy Slusser said...

Maybe it's not the age, per se, but the incredible number of people in that age range? Either way, you are nearly 55, so that puts you nearly the beginning of nearly elderly. That should nearly make you feel better. :)
I nearly love you.
Nah. .that didn't work. I REALLY love you!

nancy said...

i am 55, ergo, officially nearly elderly.

excuse me while i go get a gun.

The Katzbox said...

Em: hahahahahah....er.....

Nancy: Go ahead, senility can be a defense!