MOMMA, CHANNEL SURFING, DEAF, GUILT

My 90-year-old mom watches a lot of television. A LOT. And she likes it loud. Let me tell you, my ears are BUZZING. You can tell I'm a little affected by it because I TYPE IN ALL CAPS MORE OFTEN DUE TO MY YELLING!

My mother channel surfs quite a bit. And she doesn't just surf here and there. She has it down to a weird, irritating science. She'll locate a program, stay there long enough to drift off to sleep and for me to get mildly interested in the program, then she'll wake up right before the important, pertinent, or revealing moment and then CHANGE THE CHANNEL!!! At which point, the process is repeated. Good times.

If I get up to leave (to avoid getting "attached" to the next program she lands on), she'll say something like, "Oh! You're going back over to the table to play on your computer? You don't want to sit here with me?"

Really? How can that still work on me? To which I respond, "Of course not. Why would I want to check email, blog, tweet, read, research, or have fun when I can get engrossed in a murder mystery at 160 decibels, only to have you switch channels right when the culprit is exposed?" Here, I'll just bring the rocker closer to your chair and we'll sit side by side...and we'll eat dinner here too!

Mom: Oh! That's a good idea!

I'm not gonna win....