Friday, March 13, 2009

MY HOMELESS DOPPLEGANGER....

PART ONE OF THE STORY: There is a lady here in the desert who kinda sorta resembles me. She is technically "homeless", or jobless, or whatever. I like her well enough. I've interacted with her before. She lives here in the winter time and resides in Temecula, or thereabouts, during the warm summer months. She's no dummy. I know that she resembles me because my granddaughter (how does one spell that word?..gran-daughter?...grandaughter?...) anyway, one of the cute, bright children I would die for once saw her and asked, "Moo Moo?"....I am assuming she was doing something relatively Moo-Moo-like, such as walking or just sitting, as opposed to say, being passed out on a park bench or standing at a busy intersection holding a sign that said, "Will avoid you for money".

PART TWO OF THE STORY: Anyway, I keep single dollar bills in my ash tray for the people that work the intersections. I don't know what they do with the money. It's none of my business. I know people have strong opinions on that topic, and I respect that, but for me, I err on the side of compassion and just give a buck and hope they buy a burger with it. I like the idea AND the alliteration...buck for a burger. In fact, I call them my "bucks for 'bos"...yea, it's a little stoopid...it means bucks for hobos, but I like my name better. And we may have actual hobos left here in the desert, albeit not the lovable old Red Skelton character, "Freddie the Freeloader"....no, but we have a train that goes through the Valley and lots of trees for cover and lots of bridges for sleeping, yada yada yada....so, anyway, I have "bucks for bos" in my ashtray.

PART THREE OF THE STORY: I was in my car driving with my IPod on...and therefore my IPod ear buds plugged in and the volume was up....wwwwaaaaayyyy up. Also, it's windows-down weather here in the desert....so....no one can hear my music but me....what people CAN hear is me SINGING my music....okay?

PART FOUR OF THE STORY: I was in my car driving up to a busy intersection WITH my IPod on too loud, singing even louder, and I saw...you guessed it...Debbie the homeless doppelganger holding her sign....no problem...I reached for one of my "bucks for bos"....handed it to her without stopping and noticed that DtD had a strange look on her face....usually she smiles a big toothy grin at me (she has a nice countenance, Debbie does), and then it hit me as I drove past her while waving....I handed her a buck while singing (without accompaniment) the Grace Slick song, "White Rabbit", the best rock song ever, but I was at the part where I was virtually yelling, "FEED YOUR HEAD......FEED YOUR HHHHHEEEEAAAADDDDDDD", with the requisite head bobbing.....Poor Debbie....and I'm talking about me here.......

7 comments:

TT said...

HY-STER-I-CAL! I was reading this in a small window while the kids were in bed. So, I am scrolling, line-by-line, slowly, slowly. When I got to the "feed your head" line, I busted out laughing so hysterically that the kids got out of bed. Ahhh, what havoc you can wreak, from all the way out there in California...

The Katzbox said...

Oh my gosh...I ALWAYS love to see you here....ALWAYS!!!!! Hug those beautiful babies for me....and keep laughing TT.....

Em Dog said...

HA! So funny! I also have images of you and your sister doing karaoke to this! And, by the way everyone, the homeless Debbie. . .she really does look like mom. Tan skin, blond hair. .. really. I always thought that she resembled mom, but when Mae pointed it out when she was what? TWO? Well, then I knew it wasn't just me. :) I hope she has fun feeding her head.

hi, i'm nancy! said...

this might be my favorite post you have ever done, deb. well, not counting the earlene ones which, while we're on the subject, where has that dad-burned earlene gotten off to? haven't seen hide nor hair of her lately.

anyway, i just loved this one! feed your head! TOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNY

i'll be laughing all day. thanks.

Diane said...

ummm..am I the only one that's a little concerned for my old buddy listening to loud music with her EAR BUDS while toolin' down the road???? What if an ambulance came by? a fire truck? a flock of honking geese?
I don't know.

I'm just sayin'.

and...by the way...I laughed my butt off at this post. hysterical.
and I can picture it sooo well!

The Katzbox said...

Em: The images of Duck and I singing that song will take therapy to forget..so sorry honey...

Nancy: Thanks!!!...and I'll tell Earlene you're looking for her ;)

Diane: I am a "mirror junky"...meaning that I have a virtual OCD relationship with the mirrors on my car...I know what's up at every angle...I even have those little safety "mirrors within mirrors" on my outside mirrors so I can check my blind spots...I always know what's happening...but you are a good friend for being concerned....it's nice to be loved..... :)

The Bowmans said...

classic! :)