Friday, February 27, 2009

Venus and the Moon...me and Alex's nightlights...

As I was pulling into my driveway this evening, I got out of my car and saw the sweetest sight. There was Venus snuggled up right next to the crescent moon. It made me smile because during my last trip home to C-bus, my oldest grandchild, Alexander, and I examined those lights quite carefully when he spent the night with me. He didn't realize that Venus was a planet and could shine like a star. This was interesting to him. And of course, he is interesting to me. He's always been interesting to me...always...

So every time we came out of a building, we would look up in the sky and sure enough, there was Venus and the moon. He said, "Those are our lights". I was thrilled and agreed immediately. Yes! Anything that connects us, I thought, yes!...of course!...and I thought back to all of those days and nights that I rocked him...so silently....no words....no exchange...no communication...no promise of any....and that horrid, bleak diagnosis....and how our family just refused it...simply refused it....

I don't know if we're stupid or stubborn or both, but I don't think we've ever met a diagnosis we didn't poke fun at...Tourettes'?...bring it on s--thead (see, we never learn), OCD...we'll count to three and you'd better be, wait, 123, wait, 123, 123, 123....by the way, regarding OCD, this is an actual quote heard many times in our house, "No, I swear, a circle has FIVE sides!"...and then this diagnosis of autism...no...we refused...REFUSED...you wanna play that?...fine...we'll just climb in there with you...you wanna be quiet?....we can be quiet....you think you can NOT smile around us?....you've just thrown down the gauntlet mister....

So, sure...he's in the spectrum....he swims around in there....and his future will require adjustments...on his part, as well as on the part of others...but we never lose hope...or joy...or laughter...and of course we never, ever lose love....because we know that we are all better people because of Alex...we've been blessed with lots of wonderful people in our lives...not that it hasn't been challenging 'cause it HAS!...but all of the challenges made us better because they required us to be patient...or unconditional...or forgiving (of others, as well as ourselves)...or, dare we say, more Christ-like...because we had the choice opportunity of getting to love someone without expecting any love back, and we were okay with that...all of us....even those stinkin' teenage boys...every single one of us signed on for that and never looked back...and we have Alex and his mom to thank, always and forever...

Fast forward a few years, and here's me and Alex, hanging out, renting movies together, laughing, calling dibs on the lights in the sky, staying up waaaayyyy too late for our own good...and that whole smiling thing....yea, he smiles....lots.

9 comments:

Em Dog said...

what a sweet entry, mom. .. I remember going to bed with him every night in my bed until Steph picked him up at midnight to take him home. sweetest little guy ever.

The Katzbox said...

I know! You were gooey in love with him...always and forever...you went without so you could purchase things for him...I remember!!!

hi, i'm nancy! said...

what a wonderful group you bowmans are. you guys are everything people should be.

The Katzbox said...

Nancy, that is so nice...but we're really ornery....very very ornery.....

hi, i'm nancy! said...

who said people shouldn't be ornery?

The Katzbox said...

That's true...and thank goodness Abby listened to you or she wouldn't have fallen in love with Eli!!! Goodness, the things that "The Dear Sweet One" puts up with....

Diane said...

I agree with the ornery part.
(BOY...do I agree.)
But...I "OVER THE MOON" agree with the "everything people should be" thing that Nancy said.

Yep...the Bowmans are da bomb.

The Katzbox said...

Awwww...that's cause your clan was/is ornery too Diane....we were partners in ornery-ness....so happy there weren't cell phone cameras in those days... whew! ;)

Eli Bowman said...

Alex is my boyyyyeeeeee.