Thursday, February 19, 2009

ANOTHER PAUL REISER BIT...JUST A BIT....ON BABYHOOD...

I was cleaning up my office space (this needs to be done at the end of each quarter-it's downright refreshing) and I found my (actually Eli's) Paul Reiser's book, "Babyhood". This is one of the most pleasant books on the planet. Now, since Adam and Liz have added Anne to the mix, (and the Hebdon kids keep going) I thought I would take some notes from his chapter, "Just a few things to worry about"....enjoy.

"When you first have your baby home, your brain is seized with a plethora of potential dangers.

"I could drop him. I could drop something on him. I could roll on top of him in my sleep..."

These are big fears you can instantly envision. But there are plenty of ways you can harm a baby that you don't even see coming.

I'm changing my son's pajamas, and he starts screaming. I panic. "What? What could it be? I've done everything right. I'm blocking him so he can't roll off, I cleared away everything in a two-mild radius that he could pull down on top of him, I dimmed the light so as to not damage his little retinas, I put on soothing music for his listening and dancing pleasure..."

I even did the little thing where you gather up the sleeve at the cuff, so you can pull him through in one shot, as opposed to the go-in-the-sleeve-with-him and snake his arm through inch by inch, like a little arthroscopic camera. So why's he screaming at me?

Apparently, when you pull a baby's fist throughout a sleeve, some of his fingers don't always make it. Halfway through the process, a pinky can jump out into the middle of the road. So while you're singing a catchy melody from Peter Pan to his face, you're quietly breaking off a good one-fifth of his favorite hand. You can't see that coming."

17 comments:

hi, i'm nancy! said...

so i'm not the ONLY one who has done this? :)

The Katzbox said...

Nope! My poor Jetson...she was the first and my "trainer"...if I was going to screw up, she was the one...so I damaged 1/5 of her favorite hand, and went through all the trial and error procedures that a parent goes through. Subsequently, with Emily, Eric and Eli I was a progressively more relaxed parent-for better or worse....When I speak with Jette about this, she has the most forgiving and delightful attitude and she always says the same thing... "S'all good"....

Em Dog said...

That's Steph for ya! So forgiving. . .so perfect.

The Katzbox said...

As is Mae Mae....Emma is the same way...And it sounds like Olivia already....

The Katzbox said...

Interestingly, I don't know if Emma is "mindfully" forgiving as much as she is just "mindlessly" unaware of any slight....does that make sense?....there is a bit of a difference...she doesn't register assaults upon the soul, or if she does, they are deeply hidden and will erupt when she's on a bell tower with a sniper rifle....and won't that be a proud moment for us all? I don't know who she gets that from, but I have to get back to growing my tumor.....

The Katzbox said...

Look at me, leaving comments at my own post...yeesh...Em, I didn't mention your forgiveness style because you are the "light on the hill" and we follow your example...as is Eli....you both brought it with you....now, how did we get to "forgiveness styles" from a Paul Reiser snippet?.....Ah yes....messing up our babies.....

Eli Bowman said...

Charlie will cry and spit-up if I forget a finger in his sleeve, but Liv will grab my hand and squeeze the ever living hades out it to tell me "Dad, if you don't fix the situation I'm gonna have to do something to ya.".

Cort and Amy said...

Debbinator! I just read the best book and it has your name all over it! You've probably already read it because I see you being a far more read person than I am, but anywho I figured I'd put a plug in for the Ladies Auxiliary by Tova Mirvis. Its about a group of Orthodox Jews who live in Memphis, but the best way I ca describe it is that its Jewish Desperate Housewives, mixed with a little Footloose and Steal Magnolias... if that makes sense:)

The Katzbox said...

Eli-minator: Read that book years ago and I LOVED IT!!!! It was so intriguing to me that my Jewish sistahs could have a southern accent....a real eye-opener!!!! And I will always listen to a book plug from you....always!!!!!

The Katzbox said...

OH MY GOSH!!!! THAT WAS AMES!!!! My bad....Amy, thanks for visiting!!! And thanks even more for the plug. I wish so much they would make a movie out of that book....A Jewish Steel Magnolias...oy!

Diane said...

..i think drew is still ticked.

Diane said...

but...who needs a thumb? he's got another one.

The Katzbox said...

That's right....it's not like he's hitch-hiking anywhere....

Em Dog said...

Mom, I love that your comments are almost as long as your original post. :) And, I love it ALL! I agree with you about Emma. .she has no guile - none. It's amazing. It's a lot like STeph. Sweet girls.
That book sounds like a lot of fun - the one I am reading right now is fun, too! I will give it to you when I finish. If you don't have it read already, because Amy. ..good luck with finding a book that my mother hasn't read. . .I think she's up to 8 a week?

hi, i'm nancy! said...

i just finished a session with a client's grandmother and as soon as the grandma had left my office and i had shut the door, i said under my breath, "whoa, that lady's nuts. she's a nutty nut nut nut nut."

which sounds exactly like something that paul reiser's character on "mad about you" might have said.

The Katzbox said...

Yea, that was one great show....I wonder if that have those seasons on DVD. I love it that they named their daughter "Mabel"....

hi, i'm nancy! said...

yes, they have mad about you on dvd. i know because i have the entire collection! i am a mad about you nut. a mad about you nutty nut nut nut.