Wednesday, May 26, 2010


I had to go to Homedepotlowes, or some gigantic warehouse of weird tools, to get a copy of a key made. I truly loathe going in those places. They're a little creepy. I'm totally out of my comfort zone. It smells funny. Dozens and dozens of people all know things that I don't and there are things I'll never relate to. I don't know or understand the differences in toilets. Although, the older I get, the higher I like them. That's about how far I wish to take it. The whole experience is quite discomfiting.

Anyway, the first blue vested individual I saw, I waved at frantically and asked (while waving my 8 lb key chain around with Daffy Duck on it...mature, right?), "S'cuse me....s'cuse me, sir?....SIR?....yes. Where can I copy one of these...AND NATURALLY, AT THAT POINT I COULDN'T RETRIEVE THE WORD FOR "KEY". So...there I was, standing in the doorway of Homedepotlowes waving Daffy around, pointing at shiny, dangling things, with a deer-in-the-headlight-look and I may have even inadvertently spit at this point. He stares at me (open mouthed) and points toward "Hardware". That's a scary name. It sounds like chain mail or something equally medieval.

Anyway, I stand at the key making desk and there is a button to push for service. I push the button and immediately hear, "Associate needed at hardware counter". Great. So far, reasonably well. Two seconds pass. I hear, "Would an associate please report to the hardware counter". Yikes. No foolin' around here. Two second later, "Associate needed immediately at hardware counter!". Okay.... Two seconds, "There is an idiot standing at the hardware counter. Fix it!" Did I imagine that? Two seconds,"Blood will run if the bonehead at the hardware counter continues standing there any longer". Two seconds, "Hide your wives and children because if you know what's good for them, you'll get your arse to the hardware counter!"

That's when a chirpy, friendly salesperson showed up, pressed the button, and helped me make my Tinkerbell house key.

I told you those places were creepy.


Eli Bowman said...

That's awesome sauce, Mom...gotta love the fairies.

Diane said...

If anyone I ever met in my entire life would have a Tinkerbell would be you. :)

The Katzbox said... you both....

"awesome sauce"...classic would own one.