Monday, May 3, 2010

NOTARIES, BAIT, "BIG HOUSE", UNICORNS.

I had to use a notary today. A notary is, in these parts anyway, a rare and mystical creature. You have to hide for many hours using special "notary bait". Notary bait involves going to four different locations to find the elusive minx called a notary, a full tank of gas, sitting in a hot car with the sun beating down on you, an obligatory trip to a book store to kill some time, which in turn costs you more money, and finally breaking down and eating some lunch in your car, which you purchased through a drive-thru because you didn't want to risk going home where's it cool and comfy and you would lose your motivation to come BACK OUT IN THE HEAT. Anyway, this bait lures the notaries out so you can catch them. Once you have caught them, by notary-mythic-legendary-law, they must perform your notary task, and then you have to let them go. You can't keep a notary. Even if you promise to feed them and care for them, you must always let them go. If you don't let them go, and you try to force them to stay with you forever and ever, you can do what's called, "hard time" in the "big house". No one ever has fun there. And if you DO have fun there, you're what's considered a, "psychopath"...or else a prison guard.

There you go kids. That concludes this chapter of MooMoo's big day in the Forest of Notary Return. And no...they don't fart glitter. You're confusing them with unicorns.

1 comment:

Angela Noelle of Striking Keys said...

Your comment on Rachel's post led me here, because you are clearly an example of one such funny human - drawn to Rachel like a magnet. Love your humour and gumption!