Friday, May 30, 2008


For those who have been mentally healthy for as long as they can remember (poor souls), "thinspo" is eating-disorder-speak for thinsperation or thin inspiration. So, now you know.
I received my Netflix DVD of America's Next Top Model Cycle One, Disc One...Discs two and three are forthcoming because I'm now up to a 3-at-a-time DVD habit..*sniff*...*tremor* my thinspo will be to watch ridiculously skinny people catfight their way to a life of never-ending hunger, empty feelings and souless's Tyra-their Queen and Master whom they serve.

And then I bought this...

This is a bike built for a mature woman...I know this because the paper work said so and if it's in print, it MUST be true. It has 7 speeds (or gears, I don't know what they are, I have to learn how to shift something other than a paradigm) a cushy seat, and the handle bars are higher and closer to the seat for back and neck comfort. Frankly, I thought they were a little too close and thought perhaps I had found a bike better suited for a middle-aged thalidamide baby until Rocky, who was stocking the fishing poles (as I was biking by in WalMart) told me how to adjust the seat. I must have appeared to have strayed too far from the circus. Let me set the image for you here. Rocky has red hair that's "styled" in a mullet and the back of his hair was in a braid. He wore a baseball cap. He was the approximate volume of my left thigh. Rocky is very very kind and helpful. He spoke slowly to me with raised eyebrows, as one would to an educably retarded cousin. I rode the bike out of the store to my car.

So, I will get fit if it kills me, or humiliates me, whichever comes first.


The Slusser Family said...

Awesome! Next time you come out, you HAVE to bring your bike! I can just imagine you riding around in WalMart. . . makes me smile just thinking about it! Love you!xoxoxo-emmy

frizzlefry said...

I could live with a body like Tyra. Except I refuse to exercise. :)

Eliot Bowman said...

Yeah...I wish I looked like Tyra too.

...Mom, how is it your life can be FULL of freakin' hilarious things? You honestly have the coolest things happen to you. I think your heightened sensitivity to EVERYTHING allows you to attract the oddest, yet most unique experiences. I wish I resided solely in your awesome sphere.