1. If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be:
A WAND, VOLUMINOUS TULLE SKIRTS AND BILLOWY BLOUSES, GLASSES, BOOKS, AND OF COURSE, A ROCKING CHAIR WITH WINGS ON IT, HA!!!...THE DEBBIE ACTION FIGURE.
2. I have an irrational fear of:
HOMOPHOBES, FUNDAMENTALIST ANYTHINGS, WITCH HUNTS, NAZIS, SUPERIVISORS.
3. What type of food do you eat at your grandparents house?
MY GRANDMAS HOUSE ALWAYS SMELLED LIKE BEANS AND COFFEE...THOSE SMELLS WILL ALWAYS TAKE ME BACK.
4. What weight were you when you were born?
10lbs, 7 1/2 ounces... BUT I DIDN'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT GIRL
5. What would you do if you were stranded on an island with the person you hate?
MAKE FRIENDS OR LEARN HOW TO SWIM
6. What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
CRY, SCREAM, BLAME, BEAT, CRY, SCREAM, PRAY, REPENT, CRY, BEAT, PRAY, REPENT, FORGIVE, CRY, BEAT, FORGIVE, CRY, FORGIVE, FORGIVE FORGIVE.
7. Do you stalk anyone on myspace?
NO, I DO ALL MY STALKING ON FACEBOOK
8. I find the thought of childbirth:
RIDICULOUS AT MY AGE
9. Next door to my house is:
ARE OTHER NONDESCRIPT LITTLE METAL MODULAR OVEN/HOMES THAT BAKE OTHER LITTLE WHITE HAIRED WOMEN LIKE MYSELF. WE SHOULD BE "DONE" BY THE END OF OCTOBER.
10. My feet are:
11. Are the Tigers going to make it to the playoffs this year?
LET ME ASK SOMEONE WHO CARES...
12. Why is your #1 your #1?
BECAUSE WE'RE "CELESTIALIZING" EACH OTHER.
13. Do you know how to cook?
I'M RE-LEARNING...IT'S A JOURNEY
14. I am annoyed with:
MY FACE'S CONSTANTLY LOSING BATTLE WITH MEAN MR. GRAVITY
15. What is the worst way you were dumped?
THERE'S A "WORST"???....OH PLEASE SPARE ME
16. What child-related smell do you like?
TOBACCO AND WHISKEY...MY DAD
17. What sea creature scares you?
I DON'T WANT TO GET MY TOES PINCHED BY A CRAB IN THE SAND...OUCHY.
18. What forest creature scares you?
BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR
19. What object have you broken most recently?
IT'S NOT THAT I BREAK THEM ACTIVELY...THEY BREAK "OFF" ME OR "AROUND" ME...MY FAVORITE BRACELET JUST FELL OFF MY WRIST IN A HUNDRED PIECES....SO WEIRD.
20. Name one of the Spice Girls?
21. What was the last thing to make you cry?
OH. SATURDAY NIGHT, THE HUBBY AND I WENT TO THE TEMPLE AND ON THE WAY HOME WE GRABBED A BITE TO EAT AND HE WAS SO WONDERFUL...MAN!...SO, TEARS OF GRATITUDE COUNT RIGHT?..OH, AND AN ONION.
22. What are the stems on wine glasses for:
ERIC SAID "PRETENTIOUSNESS", WHICH IS A FUNNY ANSWER AND I LIKE IT VERY MUCH
23. My favorite shoes are:
NOT ON MY FEET BUT THEY ARE VERY VERY HIGH HEELS AND MAKE MY LEGS LOOK REALLY GOOD.
24. Can you use chopsticks?
YEA, I CAN USE THEM TO STAB PEOPLE WITH...TOO VIOLENT?...
25. Do you prefer beaches or forests?
FORESTS FORESTS FORESTS FORESTS FORESTS
26. What serial killer do you find most disturbing?
REALLY?...THERE'S A "LESS" DISTURBING SERIAL KILLER OVER ANOTHER?..AN "ACCEPTABLE" SERIAL KILLER?...ONE I WOULD TAKE TO LUNCH OVER ANOTHER?..THERE'S A SCENARIO WHERE ME AND KILLER ONE WOULD GO TO LUNCH AND GOSSIP AND SNICKER ABOUT KILLER TWO...HMMMM...IF THE WORD "KILLER" IS IN THE NAME, I'LL PROBABLY HAVE AN ISSUE WITH THE PROFESSION..PERIOD..WAIT, WHAT ABOUT SERIAL KILLERS THAT JUST KILL SERIAL KILLERS...I'LL HAVE TO THINK.
27. Who knows a secret or two about you?
UM....I'M A CONVERT....I'LL TAKE THE FIFTH ON THIS
29. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
ICK...HOPEFULLY NO ONE.
30. Who is your hero(s)?
I'LL PICK A SHEROE....SUSAN B ANTHONY AND ELIZABETH CADY STANTON, THE LADIES WHO TOOK IT UPON THEMSELVES TO BEGIN THE SUFFRAGETTE MOVEMENT...DESPITE THE ODDS, THE HORRIBLE TREATMENT, IMPRISONMENT, ETC. THEY WERE POLAR OPPOSITES AND BEST FRIENDS.
39. Where is your sister right now?
WITH OUR MOM IN C-BUS KEEPING THE FLOCK TOGETHER AND DOING HER OUTRAGEOUSLY COOL POTTERY. THE OTHER IS IN THE BRONX/MANHATTEN AREA OR INDIA OR JAPAN OR WHEREVER PFIZER IS SENDING HER. WHERE IS SHE STEPH? CURING CANCER WHILE WE'RE BURNING COOKIES?
40. Do you believe in things that last forever?
43. Are you married?
YES, BUT ONLY FOR ETERNITY.
44. Does anyone regularly tell you they love you?
THAT'S A BIG Y-E-S
45. What's the most confusing to you?
46. Do you have any bad habits?
WELL, MAYBE THEY'RE NOT "BAD" HABITS AS SUCH...PERHAPS THEY'RE JUST "MISUNDERSTOOD" HABITS....
47. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
OH SNAP!!!! ON THE WAY!!!
48. What is one thing you've learned about life?
REALITY IS OFTEN KINDER THAN THE STORIES WE TELL ABOUT IT.
49. Whats your favorite color?
DRAWN TO THE COLOR GREEN AS OF LATE BUT IT'S NOT STATIC, THIS WILL CHANGE, AS IT OFTEN DOES. I GO IN CYCLES...YEA, EVERYONE WANTED TO KNOW THAT I'M CERTAIN.
50. Ever been stuck in an elevator?
ONLY BRIEFLY...BUT THE ELEVATOR SAW IT DIFFERENTLY
51. What does your dad call you?
IT WAS "DEBBIE DOLL"
52. Has anyone told you that they like you more than a friend?
I DON'T THINK ANYONE EVER SAID THAT TO ME
53. What are you looking forward to?
54. How are you today?
DOING WELL....GOT FOUR NEW TIRES AND I'M LISTENING TO PINK AND CHRISTINA SO THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?