Friday, May 15, 2009

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED....AND SO IT GOES....

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED..

This was sent to me by my friend, Nelly. I don't know who wrote it, or I would give her credit...I'm assuming it's a "her". The editorial comments in red are mine...I had to get my own "stuff" in there, ya know? So...ENJOY!!!

Men are just happier people-what do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. (Don't get me started....)

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be the President.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. (Hell is full of professional car mechanics, okay, probably not)

The world is your urinal. (Sista friends, let's take back the woods, if you know what I mean)

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is "just too icky".

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. (word)

Same work, more pay. (I'd climb so far up HR's ....never mind....)

Wrinkles add character. (I'm steaming mad right now, ladies)

Wedding dress, $5,000, Tux rental-$100.00

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, all the time. (I experienced five moods just reading that sentence!!!)

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks. (Why? How?)

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all of your own jars. (But the only ones they want to open have pickles in them)

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. (Can I get a witness!!!)

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a 3-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. (Yes, yes, yes, yes)

You almost never have strap problems in public. (True...cause then there would be questions...)

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. (but the part moves closer to your ear)

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet, one pair of shoes-one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts-no matter what your legs look like.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. (Can I get an "amen"?)

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!



3 comments:

Emmy Slusser said...

"but the part moves closer to your ear". . .hahahhaahahahh!!

Rachel said...

I have a friend who is going through a rough patch right now and for the first time in his life is feeling a little depressed and his wife told me that one night he turned to her and said, "This depression business is YOUR job."

The Katzbox said...

HA!!! True and sad....depressing, actually....