Tuesday, April 28, 2009

WHAT'S IRISH BUTTER GOT THAT U.S. BUTTER AIN'T?

So awhile back I was shopping at Costco and I noticed a package of Irish butter...right there in the refrigerated section....it was just sitting there all golden and pretty...and I thought, "Hmmm, I should get that!"

Now, why on earth I thought that I needed Irish butter is a matter that should be left to the psychology of marketing strategists which I'm certain Costco employs, but there I was...looking at the beautiful little package of Irish butter....thinking how good that probably tasted on toast....visualizing me all cuddled up in my wooden rocking chair in the evening, settled in, responsibilities of the day taken care of (HEY! IT'S MY FANTASY, I CAN THINK WHAT I WANT, OKAY?), eating some warm, buttery, cinnamon toast and drinking my favorite herb tea....yea...I should definitely splurge and get myself some genuine Irish butter 'cause apparently the Irish know how to do butter right....right?

So I took it home and I didn't even open it right away because I liked the way it looked in my refrigerator. Really. I enjoyed opening up my refrigerator and seeing it in there. Everything else was going to heck in a handcart but when I opened up that refrigerator...ahhhhhh...there was that yummy golden block of imported luxury....just waiting....

The day came....the circumstances were right....I was alone....the day was cold...okay, it was winter in the desert so it was relative, but it felt really cold...probably 50-ish....but the wind was blowing....I put the toast in....yummm...the pleasure center of my brain was lit up like the New York skyline....I opened the box and the butter was wrapped in GOLD ALUMINUM....luscious.....I unwrapped the aluminum and it was one solid block of the brightest yellow I had ever seen....wow....these cows are rich in whatever makes butter yellow....what's that tapping?.....is that?...no!....that is NOT reality...not HERE...not NOW...STOP IT....COME BACK LATER....oh...come on....FINE....nothing is THAT yellow naturally....okay okay...I'll check the ingredients....flip the box....what?....just cream (milk) and salt....that's it....in exactly that way, parentheses included....no food coloring....no preservatives...nothing....

And then I checked the ingredients for our pale butter....and you know what it said?.....verbatim....just cream (milk) and salt...that's it...in exactly that way, parentheses included....no food coloring, no preservatives...nothing....

Wait...what makes Irish butter different from U.S. butter?....maybe it's the amount of cream....

REALITY: Hey Debbie! I know...what don't you TASTE IT!!!! Just a thought

ME: Shut up.

REALITY: I could, but you give me so much to work with. I'll just wait...

ME: *tasting* Tastes no different than U.S. butter. None.

REALITY: Like you have a refined palate. Like you could tell the difference, right?

ME: Don't you have somewhere to go?

REALITY: No.

ME: I'm noticing that the Irish butter melts a heck of a lot quicker at room temperature than our butter does. What do you think that means?

REALITY: I would guess it means higher fat content, but when have you ever listened to me?

ME: What?

REALITY: I rest my case.

14 comments:

Stephanie Jette said...

Poor Mommy.

Idea!!...Have Eric send you some real butter from Ireland?? Just a thought.

You're absolutely the best.

The Katzbox said...

I'm wondering if Eric and Holly are even going to MAKE it to Ireland...let's think positive with the flu thang....

ennbee said...

now this IS odd!

i'm gonna have to let the left side of my brain do a little munching on this one.

odd!

ODD!

Anonymous said...

I think it's because Irish cattle are predominantly grass-fed, where as our Yankee cows feast mostly on grain.

Or the Irish butter could be fortified with excess gold from the pots of sleeping leprechauns.

Either way.

Sarah

ennbee said...

i thought about the grass thing, too, but then i figured, that oughta make the butter green!

so, i think it must be the gold at the end of the rainbow! i like that explanation!

The Katzbox said...

Now THAT would be something worth importing....leprechauns! Where's the love little people??? Jump that pond people....we need some luck over here also!!! Have you not read the papers?? Don't you get Leprechaun Times, or Lucky Tribune? Yeesh...spread the wealth, okay?

Thanks Sarah.....great idea.....

Eli Bowman said...

It's because the Irish pee in it. I'm not joking.

...seriously.


...no kidding.

Emmy Slusser said...

hahah. .eli. .. hahha
I loved this entry because it is SO YOU! I laughed out loud and got a great kick out of it. This one's going in my book!

The Katzbox said...

Eli....one of these days, son....one of these days.....

Em...one of these days, daughter...one of these days....

GregBaz said...

The yellow color is the result of higher beta carotene (vitamin A) the cows get form eating grass. Cows in the US are fed corn and grain that they were never meant to eat. As a result the vitamin content of the cows milk is much lower then cows eating what they are suppose to - grass

Anonymous said...

I found the Irish Gold was softer to cut with a table knife right out of the refrigerator. (I tested this side by side with Land O Lakes) and to me the taste of Irish Gold was not a pleasing.

Anonymous said...

If you've ever eaten butter in Ireland you would know.

samueldude91 said...

I wonder if my costco has it. I want to get some too!

M said...

Hiya, med professional here. Enjoyed your blog. You are hilarious... Melting faster in room temp means it has less saturated fat, which means Irish butter doesn't stick on the walls of your arteries as much as the US butter.