Wednesday, June 17, 2009

EYEBROW PLUCKING AND OTHER FACIAL HAIR-STOP IT!!!!

So a cyber friend the other day mentioned that she's rather tired of the pressure of plucking eyebrows. Actually, she used invective so I'll spare you, but I agreed with her. What is that all about? I've caved. I'll admit it. Left to their own devices, my eyebrows are chaotic and messy. They don't listen. I can't reason with them. They have their own "agenda", I suppose....if groups of small, silly hairs can lobby, then mine certainly have...let's hope the nose hairs don't get wind of it....*shudder*...and don't get me started on the ear hairs...poor men....cryin' out loud, what is that? some kind of punishment for hitting girls on the playground in grade school?....every time they whacked a Debbie or a Karen or a Diane, that was good for redeeming one ugly, wiry, gray hair sneaking out of their ear....NOTE TO GRANDSONS: Do NOT hit your sisters!!! You will thank me in your seventh decade!!!

Anyway, I was getting my brows waxed the other day at Walmart...yes....Walmart....and this was a real luxury ladies because we are biting the bullet here at the house....no extras for anything....and I got the "usual" comment from the lady...."you want face waxed?"....I always take this to mean that I must look like Wolfman Jack (a 70s reference for you younger folk) and of course I said "no", thinking I'll just go home and boil my face in some kind of horrible acid to remove the top several layers of skin along with the hair because apparently I'm some kind of FREAK OF NATURE....but does this stop the little person ripping the hairs out of my head?....no...she then asks me this...."how 'bout that lip?".... "?"....what?....are you serious?....who am I? Tom Selleck?.....Wilford Brimley?....whattya mean, my lip?....you know, I may color my hair, but I really am blond!....my body hair is blond, it's fine, it's virtually transparent...also, it's FALLING OUT...I'm going bald, lady....EXCEPT FOR MY EYEBROWS!!!!! because you see, irony has moved in and smacked me in the face, particularly over my eyes....so just wax the suckers and leave me the heck alone!!!! Is that possible?????

I'm not even going to mention the time I put Nair up my nose to "experiment"....

6 comments:

Linda said...

Ha! Good one - yes the facial hair business certainly is a puzzle. It's the worst when you are trying to be all seriously talking to someone about something, then get a sideways view of your reflection and see a nine inch sprout from your chin shining in the sunlight! Ah...aging, what an adventure! By the way, please refrain from using pictures of my backyard at the top of your blog. Wish you were here!

ennbee said...

gosh, you know, i don't think i have this problem! i mean, i probably have the unruly eyebrows problem but, just ask abby, i don't give a dang what my eyebrows look like.

but i am FORTUNATE, it sounds like, not to be plagued with nasal hair and the like.

man, the things i take for granted. :)

The Katzbox said...

Linda...hahaha...yes, your backyard....ain't it grand? This is Lynn's house...dang...I forget her last name, but she went to high school with you! She lives up by the river...it's a great place...

ennbee: you are fortunate, indeed....

Emmy Slusser said...

Tom is sooo dreamy. . .so, so dreamy.
But, the factal hair stops with Magnum.
Darn wax. . .

Cindy said...

This is the funniest blog yet..eyebrow waxing at Walmart? What next??? Walmart for you next OBGYN visit? Or how about botox at Walmart?

The Katzbox said...

Botox at Walmart...hmmmm....what would that end result look like?....you've given me much to ponder, Cindy.....hmmmmmmmm.....I'm imagining a lot of women walking up and down the aisles with really surprised looks on their smooth faces, pretending they're pleased about the "roll-back" prices....