NERD-ALERT...Don't let this happen to YOUR mother!!!

The children should have seen it coming. Their mother enrolled in school. Oh sure, it seemed harmless. She just wanted to "experience some culture"..."maybe take a few art history classes"...as if....

Then she discovered her credits from the community college were transferable...well, most of them anyway...and she enrolled in a four year college that allowed her to work during the day and take classes at night. What was the harm? The kids were grown, she had to do something with her time...there had to be more than hubby and church, right? Let the little lady catch up on Algebra and the Reformation and some psychology classes.

What? She earned her degree? She wants to go further? What the heck for? She's old! She has grandchildren to play with!! What are those things on her face? Are those HORN RIMS???!!! Is she actually worried about her Statistics homework? What's her focus of study? PSYCHONEUROIMMUNOLO-WHAT? This is wrong. This is wrong at so many levels.

The other night she pulled an all-nighter. She's on Facebook...with a bunch of her middle-aged friends. She's has an LJ account also!!! I heard she's got a young male friend in Australia who brews his own beer, plus he talks to her about Megadeath and other weird concerts he goes to. What's THAT about?

Mom's a hip wonk? No. Mom's a boat ride, a plane trip and two bus stops away from hip. Look at that picture? You could post that in the Lost Mom Department and no one would claim her. She's a Woody Allen nightmare, that one is.

Good thing her kids are cool....