EVERY KISS BEGINS WITH VICK'S

I'll briefly explain what happened last night, and then we will never speak of it again.

My 90-yr-old mother went to bed. She hasn't been feeling well. I'm guessing it's because she's 90 FREAKING YEARS OLD....but I digress....

I was working on a paper in the dining room, just outside her room. Her bedroom was dark and therefore I assumed she was sleeping. She went to bed with Vick's Vaporub on her chest. Remember that stuff? Mmmmmm......

Anyway, she called out, "Debbie? Could you come in here?"

I went into the dark room and asked her what I could do for her. She said, in her little meek, sleepy voice, "Could you kiss me right here *pointing to her temple*"?

I thought, "Sure, she must think she has a temperature". I leaned down to plant my mouth full onto her sweet little temple and virtually pasted my lips into a puddle of Vick's. I pulled back, but it was too late, I was smeared with the stuff.

My mother let out the most wicked laugh I've heard come out of her in a long long time. It was PLANNED!!!! She did it purposefully and with malicious forethought. BRAVO!!!

I spit and fumed and snitted. I said, "What the heck!!!!" My eyes commenced burning and once you try to wipe that stuff off, it just goes postal on your face, so for the rest of the evening and even when I washed my face this morning, it was the "gift that kept on giving"....

Nice. Well done, Mom.

Man...I will miss her when she's gone....