MY HOMELESS DOPPLEGANGER....

PART ONE OF THE STORY: There is a lady here in the desert who kinda sorta resembles me. She is technically "homeless", or jobless, or whatever. I like her well enough. I've interacted with her before. She lives here in the winter time and resides in Temecula, or thereabouts, during the warm summer months. She's no dummy. I know that she resembles me because my granddaughter (how does one spell that word?..gran-daughter?...grandaughter?...) anyway, one of the cute, bright children I would die for once saw her and asked, "Moo Moo?"....I am assuming she was doing something relatively Moo-Moo-like, such as walking or just sitting, as opposed to say, being passed out on a park bench or standing at a busy intersection holding a sign that said, "Will avoid you for money".

PART TWO OF THE STORY: Anyway, I keep single dollar bills in my ash tray for the people that work the intersections. I don't know what they do with the money. It's none of my business. I know people have strong opinions on that topic, and I respect that, but for me, I err on the side of compassion and just give a buck and hope they buy a burger with it. I like the idea AND the alliteration...buck for a burger. In fact, I call them my "bucks for 'bos"...yea, it's a little stoopid...it means bucks for hobos, but I like my name better. And we may have actual hobos left here in the desert, albeit not the lovable old Red Skelton character, "Freddie the Freeloader"....no, but we have a train that goes through the Valley and lots of trees for cover and lots of bridges for sleeping, yada yada yada....so, anyway, I have "bucks for bos" in my ashtray.

PART THREE OF THE STORY: I was in my car driving with my IPod on...and therefore my IPod ear buds plugged in and the volume was up....wwwwaaaaayyyy up. Also, it's windows-down weather here in the desert....so....no one can hear my music but me....what people CAN hear is me SINGING my music....okay?

PART FOUR OF THE STORY: I was in my car driving up to a busy intersection WITH my IPod on too loud, singing even louder, and I saw...you guessed it...Debbie the homeless doppelganger holding her sign....no problem...I reached for one of my "bucks for bos"....handed it to her without stopping and noticed that DtD had a strange look on her face....usually she smiles a big toothy grin at me (she has a nice countenance, Debbie does), and then it hit me as I drove past her while waving....I handed her a buck while singing (without accompaniment) the Grace Slick song, "White Rabbit", the best rock song ever, but I was at the part where I was virtually yelling, "FEED YOUR HEAD......FEED YOUR HHHHHEEEEAAAADDDDDDD", with the requisite head bobbing.....Poor Debbie....and I'm talking about me here.......