NO REALLY, I'M JUST NOT DRESSED FOR THIS....

ME: It's time to go. I'll take you. (I'm talking about Young Men's at Church, it's a weekly meeting that little Eli attends)

ELI: Okay. I'll be right out.

ME: *waiting...and let me paint the picture...I'm just dropping him off...assuming his dad will pick him up on his way home from work...I'm wearing a wrinkled shirt that's too big, a short, white cotton skirt, anklets and crocks...yea...*

ELI: *from the front seat next to me with the ever-present phone at his ear because we haven't had a two-way conversation in 3 years...there is ALWAYS someone else listening* Oh Debbie, I forgot. You have to attend the meeting tonight at Church. It's for scouts. Sorry.

ME: !!!

ELI: *while talking (again) on his phone* Can you just drop me off at Johns while you go to the meeting? They don't really need me there.

ME: *glare*

ELI: Um, John? I don't think I'll be going to your house tonight. I'll be at church.

ME: I HAVE to attend this meeting? You just NOW remembered?

ELI: *sweating* Ummm...I didn't know anything about it. They just called and reminded me it was tonight. I forgot it was this week.

ME: You've just given me three separate stories. Which one of these do you want me to believe?

ELI: Whichever one you want.

And thus ends another adventure in parenting this particular adolescent...this is the sixth and final...I mean it...for real this time....I'm retiring....I'm totally hanging up my seminary scripture mastery stuff...YM/YW meeting schedules....it's over come June...OVER!!!!!....not that I won't miss it occasionally.....he is kinda fun....he makes me laugh....okay okay okay, I'll miss it....just don't tell anyone....