GOING PUBLIC WITH SCARY STOMACH SOUNDS....

My stomach makes the loudest stomach noises on the planet...bar none! It's frightening. You can hear the noises my stomach makes from across the room, actually, from across the apartment. I'm not kidding. If everyone stopped moving, I would venture to say that the people below us would be tempted to set up video equipment to "catch" the hideous demon that must be living in their walls, because it is so non-human sounding. And here's what's so hideous about it: it happens after I eat or drink. YES!!!! For most people,stomach noises are a reminder to eat something. For me, it is a reminder to the world that once again I have partaken of sustenance, which frankly, I do quite often. I eat and drink all the time. I am a one woman band when this stomach kicks in. If, by "one woman band" you think of a demonically possessed sludge-filled cave. It's bad. I don't think there's anything I can do. It gets worse the older I get. I don't know if it's because of the intestinal bypass surgery and the fact that my anatomy has been adapting to the "rebuild" for 12 years and this is just how it's going to be or if it's something else. All I know is that if I'm going out in public, I have to be starving...empty...dry...or I'm going to frighten young children and make dogs howl.

I'm not joking. I'm going to record it on this computer one of these days and make you all insane with fear. Hollywood is calling for the rights to my scary stomach sounds.

PENNY LOAFERS, A HISTORY (THX NANCY)

My friend, Nancy, whose blog is: http://nancysbeeess.blogspot.com/
recently wrote a post about penny loafers. It set me to thinking about how I never owned a pair of penny loafers and how I always intrigued by the idea of putting a penny in one's shoes. I wondered where it originated. So I did a little researching, which today is a click away.

The loafer is most associated with the G.H. Bass shoe company, which called it the Weejun. It was based on the style of slip-on shoes worn by Norwegian farmers (hence the name, Weejun). It was casual and elegant and could be worn with a suit or with shorts. Wow. Good luck with any other shoe doing that.

Back in the 40s and 50s, people took to putting dimes in their shoes. It was the price of a phone call on the payphones back then. That I DO remember. Pay phones remained a dime per call up until 1976, in C-bus anyway. I remember the day they changed the phones because I was sitting in Mt. Carmel Hospital getting a prenatal check up (I was pregnant with my first born child, Jette) and we watched the men from the phone company going from floor to floor raising the calls to a quarter.

Later, people changed it to a penny, and the shinier, the better.

Thus ends this rattling tale of shoe history...

Inquiring minds probably didn't want to know, but now it's just one more piece of useless information, along with truffles, that you can store in your head and bring out at a dinner party.

You're welcome. *deep bow*


References

http://www.ehow.com/about_5056990_history-penny-loafers.html

http://blogs.zappos.com/blogs/comfort/2008/07/01/history-of-a-shoe-penny-loafers

NO MORE TRUFFLES-LET'S GO WITH NEW NAMES

I was in a See's Candy store the other day and was talking about truffles. When I was growing up, truffles were mushrooms. Fancy, expensive, rare, mushrooms. A "delicacy", I believe is the term. As I got older, the word "truffle" was being used to describe chocolates. Chocolate raspberry truffles, among other flavors, are sold in candy counters in the mall, etc.

So I looked it up. They're both correct. Truffles are indeed a fungi that grows around tree roots. Yeech. When it's explained that way, I wonder about the first person that ate one. As I've said before about the first person to eat an egg, I believe they were unbelievably HUNGRY!!!!.The word truffle is from the Latin root for "lump".

Truffle, when used to describe a candy, is used to describe a lump, which resembles the mushroom lump. That's a long way to go to name a candy. But...my question is, "why"? Why name a beautiful candy confection after a lumpy shape of a fungus? I mean, sure, it's a delicacy in France, but really?...the shape?....of a mushroom?...that's the best they had?....So, I've been thinking of alternate names for chocolate candies, which so many people seem to adore with profound love and adoration. Here's a few of my suggestions.

1. love nuggets-it makes me giggle to say it
2. embraces-it has a sensual overtone
3. torchies-I just like it
4. truthies-cause you'll say anything to get them
5. celesties

and my personal favorite: SMOOCHES

There you go....

PEOPLE AT THE APPLE STORE ARE LIKE, JEDI's

"THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PSA IN THE WORLD"...A "BOWMAN" THANG...AND WE STILL HAVE EMMY

LIP BOOGERS, RUNNY NOSES, CURTAIN MONSTERS

Elijah spoke at an early ward this morning. He did great. He was asked to be companion with a visiting High Councilman. He spoke on "Where To Find Truth" and really, he did a great job. Bravo, kid.

Because we went to an earlier sacrament meeting, it allowed me to stay with a sick 2-year-old while his family went to Church and various meetings...so...it was me and Clark. Following are two conversations we had. I'm not kidding...these were real convos....

CLARK: This morning, when I woke up, I picked a booger off my lip.

MOO (me): Wow. Really? Are you sure it was a booger?

CLARK: Yea. It was a lip booger. I picked it off my lip, like this *mimics picking skin off his bottom lip*

MOO: You know, buddy, I'm betting that was just some dry skin on your lip because they're cracked. When you get sick, your lips get dry and make skin like that.

CLARK: No! It was a booger.

MOO: Boogers are in your nose.

CLARK: It was a lip booger, Moo Moo!

MOO: Of course it was.

CLARK: Yea.





CLARK: What's that? *pulling a tissue out of my sleeve, where I've kept a tissue for 50 years*

MOO: Well, that's a tissue to wipe my nose with.

CLARK: Why?

MOO: I have a runny nose. I always have a runny nose.

CLARK: So do I, but I'm a baby.

MOO: Point made. Is that a monster behind the curtain?

DAVID AND PETER-DON'T LET THE BIBLICAL NAMES FOOL YA.

Today is David's last day here in California. We're taking it easy here. He's doing his laundry. He and Peter have watched some television and cut up a little bit. There's an elephant in the living room. I'm really going to miss my brother. He's been here several weeks. The job thing didn't work out, but he's not too worried. He's going back home to be with his sweet wife and young daughter with the plan of saving up and eventually returning to California. He loves it here and wants to bring his family out here. It's a nice goal. I'm all for it. When the time is right. He also feels an obligation to our mother back in C-bus, as well as to the rest of my children who are there. He was very close to their Dad and feels connected to them.

There has been a LOT of laughing in this house. This morning I grabbed the dog's leash and called for Boo. The hubs said, "I already walked him" to which I replied, "Well, he'll walk again" rather nonchalantly. At the exact same time, in their best evangelical preacher/healer voices, they BOTH said, "HE'LL WALK AGAIN!!!"

Yea...bro will be missed....

*SIGH*

I knocked on my daughter's door today and I heard muffled but excited voices saying, "Grandma! Grandma!" and then I heard the proverbial pitter patter of little feet. And THEN the door opened and two shiny little faces were smiling up at me and then 2 year old Clarkie looked at me and said,
"Thank you for coming, Moo Moo!"

My day peaked at 10:30 am and I'm way okay with that.

FLAKEY FOR C-BUS...

It's sunny outside today. And warm. In fact, when I was walking my dog, there was someone in the pool. IN THE POOL! That's how warm it is here. And do you know what I wanted at that moment? What I wanted most at that moment right then and there was to be in C-bus, hunkered down in my mom's house with a big pot of homemade soup, while listening to Livvy chatter, watching Charlie climb into my suitcase, listen to Eli and Eric harmonize, watch Abby and Holly color in the coloring books (they're adorable, by the way), listen to my grandson Alex call me "Dranma" and have him try to pick me up (which he can, now), have Emma flash me the peace sign, watch Jette smile and relax, laugh with my sister and niece, all while watching the snow come down, flake after flake after flake...that's what I really wanted while I watched that person in the sunshine play in the pool...

I guess it really is all relative....

WAKING UP IS HARD TO DO (with apologies to Neil Sedaka)

Here's something odd. I woke up, made the bed, groomed, and picked out some clothes to wear. I don't remember owning the pants that I picked out, but oh well, they were in my closet so why not. And then I picked out some socks, which were an odd texture but they worked so I put those on. And then (by the way, I don't think it's grammatically correct to start a sentence with the word "and", but it's my "voice" so I'm doing it-grammar police beware), I didn't feel like I was "right" so I walked around my room. It just didn't feel like my room or something...so guess what?...I WOKE UP! I had dreamt the entire waking up experience. I had to wake up all over again. No wonder the clothing didn't feel or look right or feel like it belonged to me. It was dream clothing. What a drag. I really have issues with waking up. It takes me forever to get out of my bed. Really. I can stay in my bed for hours. Yea. I know. But to have to wake up TWICE???? Wow...that is just not fair...no bueno....cruel, in fact....

But I'm up....or as I used to say when I was little, "I'm up already, GOSH!!!"

Now if only my mom was here to have hot, milky tea and buttered toast waiting on the table for me to stumble upon, the day would be complete....well, except for the tea part, I guess... :)

ALTO VOICES-SO VERY VERY LOVELY.

I have many things to always be grateful for, but today I was sitting in Church, in the women's class (Relief Society), and we were singing. I realized how much I love to hear the alto portion of our hymns when women's voices are singing. I can only croak and I can't sing any sort of harmony. I get distracted and end up all over the place. I guess it truly is a "joyful noise to the Lord". But today I was surrounded by good women with terrific alto voices and they sounded delightful as they blended with the melody. It opened me up to the spirit of the song. I am grateful to their sweet voices and sweeter spirits.

That's just one of the things I'm grateful for today.

THE ROMANCE IS KILLING ME...

Last night when the hubs came home he said, "I see you have a secret admirer". I said, "I do"? He said, "Well you must! He left you stuff outside". So....I received a pot of miniature white roses and a box of iced oatmeal cookies from my "secret admirer". They were left outside my front door. Hmmmm. My secret admirer had sign his name on the outside of the pot containing the roses. His name is Peter.

I told Peter that when I first saw the stuff I thought, "Oh! Someone left some things for Elijah!" I didn't even think about me receiving something. Maybe I shouldn't have said that...on hindsight...or maybe it was a good thing....I'll leave it to the philosophers....

But I DID overhear the hubs say this to my brother, "Heck I thought if I could put $300 on the credit card to pay a dentist bill, I figure I could take the wife out for tacos"

nice....

WENDY, MISSIONARIES, LETTERS, GENEALOGY

Here's a gratitude thingy.

My mother, who's 90, decided that she wanted to write the full-time missionaries from her church. She was told that she didn't have to, but she insisted. She used to do this when she lived in Florida when she was in her 70s and early 80s and she enjoyed it. The missionaries would return, thank her, and she had the pleasure of watching them marry and begin to raise families. So, she thought she would do it again. Only this time, she's not just writing the 3-5 missionaries in her ward or congregation, noooo....this go-round, she's writing every full-time missionary in her stake. I believe the number is up to 22 or 23. She's writing them every month. Bravo, Wendy...Bravo!

She called me the other day and said, "My handwriting isn't as good as it used to be. If I dictate my letter over the phone, could you type it and send it to Tiffany for me? She'll print out the copies and help me put them in envelops and stamp them." I couldn't agree fast enough. I would love to be a part of this process, are you kidding me?

So here's what Mom is doing. She's giving the missionaries little portions of her life story, which I personally find fascinating. She was raised in very rural, southern Ohio-in the hills and hollers-by devout farmers and miners. In fact, it is thought that her "people" were connected with Sidney Rigdon's church that was started by his followers. When she joined the LDS Church in her 70s, she said, "I know all of this. This is familiar. This is how I was raised". Her conversion was pretty easy.

Anyway, she spoke about her grandparents and great grandparents. Her memory is incredible when it comes to people born in the early to mid 1800s and their stories. No wonder her mission on earth is genealogy, right? As Emmy says, "Raise your hand if you know the baptismal date of your second cousin! My Grandma does!"

I thought the cutest thing was how she signed off. At the bottom of her letter, after her signature was this:

Next month: The log house and the Great Depression!

I can't wait...

CLARK, CONVERSATION, WHOA!!! LOVE

This was an actual conversation I had with my 2-year-old grandson today. We were sitting at his table this afternoon eating lunch. His vocabulary is pretty impressive. My 14-month-old grand daughter, Livvy, is beginning to speak as well...what can I say? I have chatty grand kids, and I LOVE it.

Anyway, Clark and I were sitting there and this happened:

CLARK: You know, I was sitting here yesterday and I was all, WHOA, and then I fell.

ME: *laughing so hard I peed a little*

CLARK: *thinking I was laughing WITH him instead of AT his words then says* I know! I was just sitting here and then, WHOA! I fell.

ME: *laughing even harder*

CLARK: *smiling*

ME: *falling harder in love*

RESEARCH, BAD COMPANY, GRATITUDE

Okay, I am very appreciative of this quarter...among other things. It's been very "research intensive". The classes I've been taking are "Research and Design" and "Tests and Measurements". I don't know how I'll fare in them ultimately, but I'm enjoying what they're doing to what's left of my brain. What I've come to appreciate about school (at this late stage of the game), is the plasticity of the brain. Depending on what I'm studying, I can tell, by the 7th to 8th week, the parts of my brain which are really engaged. I think differently, I speak differently, I can feel the influence of the subject matter relative to the parts of my brain that are "lighting up". This particular quarter has been rather lovely, as research and design are linear and logical and call upon parts of my brain that are seldom used. It's like cleaning out a room in your house that has only been used for storage or junk and now it's nice to go in. I'm hopeful to keep it up, but we'll see. Obviously I can't keep it at this level, but I'll try to do something to achieve a "maintenance-type" level of care-probably by pushing myself to read and truly understand more peer-reviewed literature, statistics, etc.

Anyway, this leads me to my next point. I'm considering a little blurb with each of my posts; a little gratitude/appreciation/insight blurb. It won't be my main post, because that's where I write about weird stuff, or stuff that lights me up....I don't know...maybe I'll just do it as I'm moved to....yea....how about that?....as it moves me....

So today, I was happy about what I heard on the radio. Simple, true, but it lifted my spirits and made me smile. I had just dropped the boy off at one of his classes and was driving home. On the classic rock station, they had back-to-back Bad Company songs. Oh my gosh....I was just jammin' that car home....woo!!!!

I love that band. I love that bluesy guitar, that rock beat, and those soulful vocals...love it! They rocked the 70s. I saw them live on the campus at OSU. They were great. I was young. The world was easy. And there was no future, only present.

Thanks Bad Company....*great name*....but I'm pleased to be where I am now and have perspective. I guess that was the second part of the good feeling...to see how far I've come spiritually, emotionally, etc.

It was just a good few, fun, few minutes. :) BTW, the vocalist was on the far right-and I had a mad crush on him...

NOAH, FLOATING BOXES, AND HYPERBOLE

I inadvertently got into a "discussion" with a gentleman at Church today. We were discussing Noah and the ark. The discussion involved the challenges inherent in "getting the word out" about what Noah was doing (and Noah's message of repentance) without the use of the internet, news outlets, paper, etc. The question was, "How did Noah and his message get spread?" Various theories were voiced and I said, "Well, there were a number of caravans with merchants traveling through the area. They would carry the news that there was a huge float-able box type structure being constructed in the desert and the man doing it is a man of God and his message is thus and so..."

It seemed as good a theory as anything else. So the class went on...at the end of the class, a kind, white-haired gentleman who has always had very nice things to say to me sat down next to me very quickly and said, "Now you CANNOT tell me that simple caravans would carry that message intact to villages along the way!"

I think he was kind of upset. Then I remembered that I answered with MY theory immediately after he answered with his (something totally different from mine) and it may have sounded like I was somehow undermining his, or being oppositional, etc. Nothing could be further from the truth...just me in my Debbie-haze .... business as usual kind of thing...

Anyway, I said, "Brother, that's how news traveled in that culture. That's how Lehi came up with the names of Nephi and Sam; because he traveled caravan style as a successful merchant" (He was influenced by another culture further away from Jerusalem.) Anyway, he still wasn't convinced. He said, "Oh come on, you know there have been scientific studies that show how corrupted a message gets when it travels from one person to the next!" To which I replied, "Well, it would be pretty difficult to attach any hyperbole to an already huge box structure full of animals in your neighbor's desert". Alas, he stood up and let me pass.

I think next week I better flash him a smile and the peace sign...and hopefully some research to totally refute my theory and tell him he was correct the entire time...

:)

RAIN, LA JOLLA, AND THE GARDEN OF EDEN.

I drove down to La Jolla today to visit the Temple there. While I drove down, it rained and rained and rained. Parts of the 15 were flooded! I've never driven in rain like that while living here. It was beautiful. And as you drive past Fallbrook and the area, it already looks like the Garden of Eden, but with all of this rain, it was especially green and verdant and inviting. The hills were alive with the sound of music...too bad no one but me could hear it. I was tooling along at 70 mph with my music blaring, me singing at the bottom of my lungs, and all things right with the world.

Then I got to the Temple. The gates were closed and the sign said, "Temple Closed. Authorized Personnel Only". One can only imagine who the "authorized personnel" are that go into the Temple, but I digress....

But!...I just made a quick little turn, got back on the 5 North and did the return drive home, happy as a clam, and hoping that I got some blessings for good intentions. Got home in time to go to lunch with the boy, pick up some groceries at Costco, and feed the missionaries.

It was a great day.

BYE BYE MR. ESTRADA.....

Well, Project Runway (PR) was on again last night...*sigh* and I actually got to watch it in the living room ON THE VERY NIGHT IT WAS AIRING!!! Usually I watch it on Saturdays via hulu.com. I was in heaven. I even had my brother and step-son watching. The hubs came in half-way through and he reluctantly watched it with us.

Here was the challenge from the PR site, "...Anyway, this week's show presented the designers with an interesting challenge: create a signature look for the Campbell soup "adDRESS Your Heart" gala, for women affected by heart disease. They're designing for real women -- i.e., not the size 4 or 6 skinny model body type. And the design must feature red fabric and elements inspired by the Campbell soup logo..." yea....good luck with that.....

Hometown boy (San Diego), Jesus Estrada took the bow this week. It was just a matter of time for Jesus. Though he can sew and construct, his design and taste elements were not high enough to satisfy Heidi, Michael and Nina. Too short, too shiny, too many jewels, too...too...just too much. He seemed very nice and evenly tempered. It's always a little sad when someone goes home. Almost always...

So, that's that for this week.

I TOLD PETER AND ELI.

We've been in our apartment for six full months. We're actually heading into our 7th month. Wow. Time has just flown by. And I'm ready to move again. It's a short term lease and I think it would be fun to move to a new apartment in a different part of town. So I started looking. I told Peter and Eli.

I told Peter and Eli.

I told Peter and Eli.

I told Peter and Eli.

I told Peter and Eli.

I told Peter and Eli.

I don't think they heard me. OR. I don't think they want to move again.

HAWAII, BAJA, PARANOIA, LAUGHTER

I don't do a lot of different things during the day. I don't particularly observe a lot. I have a set program-not a lot of variety. I don't go out a lot and when I do, it's to the same places. So...what I have left to blog about are, typically, conversations that I've had. Today is no exception.

I was at Em's (again...) and we were discussing the big quake off the coast of Baja, California. It was a sizable quake, occurring 13 miles off the coast. It was felt in San Diego, but we didn't feel it. It happened this morning. On January 20, there was a 4.3 quake off of Hawaii, then there was this one this morning off Baja. The unspoken fear is that "The Big One" is coming. I told her, "Well, I'm really getting frustrated with the amount of food storage that we don't have. I have some water, but not nearly enough food."

Em said, "I have food, but no water."

Then she said, "We need to move our water storage tanks out of our garage to our side yard"

ME: Then people will show up and steal them from you when society breaks down! Why would you do that?

EM: Um...because I'm not paranoid?

ME: Well, you should be.

EM: That's nice.

*silence*

LAUGHTER-because we think we are the two funniest people around....and our worlds are small right now...

*slow news day*