WHY YOU SHOULD NOT DO HOMEWORK WHILE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ANESTHESIA

Why one shouldn't write homework assignments when one still has anesthesia coursing through their system:

I'm taking human psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) this quarter. It's an important class because I'm strongly considering doing my dissertation on this subject. So....it kinda sorta important that I "get it". As a side note, I think it's funny that they insisted calling it "human" PNI, as opposed, I guess, to river otter PNI.

This week, I'm learning about the various tests, or assays, that are performed to measure the efficacy of immune function. It gets very involved. I was very tired and apparently still a little loopy following my knee surgery yesterday. So, sure, the first day in several weeks that I finally get the internet in my house, I decide to do homework from my table (in stead of from a coffee house) and I write something stoopid. I invoked images of Jedi mind tricks while describing apoptosis and cell function. Sure, I think in pictures but thinking in pictures and describing in pictures to one's professor are two vastly different things. Here's the first Jedi reference I wrote...

"NK and T cells kill these cells by lysing or creating holes in the non-self cells’ membranes. Also, NK and T cells perform Jedi mind tricks on the "non-self" cells, which cause these cells to kill themselves. It’s called apoptosis, or programmed cell death. NK and T cells are scary, but the force is with them." Isn't that great? Now I'm a nerd AND an idiot.

And then I wrote the following. The person I'm referencing here, K... V..., is one of the editors of our textbook, "The cell line used with this assay (P815) also responds to macrophages, T cells and NK cells. The authors lost me here, but apparently, it’s bad. Apparently, there is a lack of specificity and healthy, as well as non-healthy cells can be destroyed. I’m no professional, but that sounds like a serious disadvantage. And while I have you on the line, if I ever find myself seated next to K... V... at a dinner party, I have a few Jedi mind tricks of my own I’d like to play....such as, “This fork would look great in my right eye”....but I digress."
There. That should seal the deal. If I didn't look foolish enough after the first paragraph, I should look downright retarded after this one.

Maybe Kroger's is hiring.

P.S. I blanked out some of the vowels in her name so she wouldn't pop up in a google search and have me killed by her over-worked immune cell criminal cohorts. She might be powerful in the immune underground.