MOMMIE BUSINESS-NOT FOR WIMPS

Today I was in charge of the kids. I spent the night and was in charge of everything. Jacob and Em had an early morning appt and I was left with getting Clarkie ready for his preschool (once a week for 2 hours he gets to "go to school") and Mae ready for kindergarten.

I arrived last night around 11:00. I hung around with Em and we laughed and talked for awhile, which was great fun, but eventually she had to go to sleep around midnight or so...buzz kill. I found that I couldn't go to sleep to save my life so I watched the premier of "House" on hulu.com. I also played around on the computer for awhile. By the time I got to bed, it was about 3:00 am. Nice.

Before I hit the couch, I attempted to turn off my phone (which I don't know how to do) and somehow managed to turn on the video camera function. This is turn somehow triggered Emmy's home and property alarm system to come on. The beeps commenced and we had 90 seconds to "leave premises" before every satellite orbiting the earth lit up and informed every law enforcement agency on this hemisphere (and probably a few mercenaries elsewhere) that a little horn-rimmed, garden-variety, arthritic "moo" had invaded the premises. I ran over and disarmed it but not before my body received a full dose of adrenaline. Hello Mr. Xanax!

At approximately 6:30 am, the girl cried out for her mom because she had experienced a nightmare. I ran up the steps (on very little sleep and a wonky leg-which is better BTW) and attempted to respond therapeutically.

girl: Where's mommy?

moo: I'm here.

girl: Where's MOMMY! I had a bad dream.

moo: *climbing into her bed with one eye closing* It's okay. Mommy and Daddy had to go somewhere so I'm here. Isn't this fun?

girl: no! I had a bad dream.

moo: oh yea. use your words to tell me your dream anditwillmakethemonkeypielabsis

girl: grandma?

moo: YES! TELL ME YOUR DREAM!

She explained her dream and then we cuddled and all was well for about 15 minutes when she had another dream strangely like the first, which involved a person's big head and face. Scary. The 3rd time she had the dream I looked around the room and she was facing a huge globe of the world on her bay window. The globe was beautifully silhouetted. I will suggest to her mom that we move the globe, and by "we" I mean "her".

Shortly thereafter the boy awoke asking for his mom. This mom business...I had forgotten how demanding it was...it consumes you...little wonder it is for the young....why do 50 year old women want this?....God Bless Them, but hey, nature works like this for a reason ladies....

We scrambled downstairs to feed the youngins because....today is the one day in the week that the boy has "preschool"! So, ply food down his cute little gullet, get him dressed, and take him to school, right? Not so easy. I didn't mention that virtually EVERYTHING with him is a contest of wills-an Olympic feat of athleticism-and a virtual 24/7 vigil to keep him alive and make sure nothing goes into his potentially anaphylactic reactive body. It's a walk in the park. Emmy lost her mind about 2 years ago.

The girl and I return home and play on the computer together because she's 5 going on 50, usually. I do some laundry, and then it's time to pick up the boy. The girl says, "Go this way instead" when we're in the car. I said, "No. Your mom gave me these directions and I should just stick to this way". She said, "You're really taking the long way. My way is much better".

"But I feel that I should just do what your mom says. These are her instructions. I'm not at all familiar with the way you're describing. You're FIVE. Sorry."

"Moo, you should listen to me more. You'll get there much quicker. You're going the really long way".

"You're making me feel bad for being obedient to your mother's orders. I can't take this pressure".

"Whatever. But if you listened to me, we could already be there".

Anyway, the boy arrived home safely, we came back to the house, had some lunch, drove the girl to kindergarten, and I purposefully drove the boy through wine country with the air conditioner on and the tinted windows up so he would fall asleep. I know that's an old trick, but it works, right mommies? And it did! I even filled up Em's tank for her (okay, I used her own credit card, but still, she doesn't have to do it). I schlepped him up the steps to his own little bed and he looked so angelic, I could forgive him the chasing and running and screaming for help that he does when I dress him (nice...), the thrown shoes (what is that, a Bowman trait?) and anything else he gets into (or gets me into). So now I'm sitting in their kitchen. I should be doing my homework, but that couch is looking pretty inviting....

Did I mention that I would do this again tomorrow? For any of my grandchildren? Because this is as good as it gets! Watching these little people in action is the best. Alex, when I'm with you, my heart is lifted! We have our own little things that we do. We have fun, Buddy...you and me.

Emma, we had so much fun out here last summer. You were so cute and fun. It was so wonderful to watch you explore new sights and landscapes. You were an angel.

Katey and Lacey, your day will come. I think of you when I'm at the beach and I think, "Hmmmm, those girls are going to have to come out here on their Spring Breaks...."

Alyssa, it's so fun watching you develop into the young lady you're becoming. You're so athletic and your mom and dad are so proud of you. It's so fun when you come over. I love it when we play games and we're on the same team. You're my littlest friend and I love you. I will always love you.

Sammy! I miss you! Do you remember when I said you could serve a mission for the Church one day, just like the Elders? I meant it. Grandpa and I could help you with that. Think about it sweetheart. You are so bright and so special. We love you so very much. Stay the good girl that you are. Let me know what you are reading!!!

Charlie, I have begun to hold imaginary conversations with you and your sister. When I have mine and yours, I hold you on my lap and I whisper in your ear. We rock together. You eventually get drowsy and lean your little body against me. I just keep whispering and talking quietly into your ear. I tell you how much I love you and appreciate you. I tell you that you were "Baby B" and I thought you were very special from the very beginning, even before you were born. I kiss the top of your head...a LOT. I rub the backs of your chubby hands. Our time together is very relaxed and loving. I enjoy our imaginary times together, honey. I'm looking forward to seeing you in November. I feel your tenderness, Charlie. That's the word that defines our time together-tender.

Lulu, when I see you and I together, we are staring at each other at the same level. Your eyebrows are always up! You are constantly trying to figure something out. We smile easily with each other. Actually, you smile very easily and I smile when I look at you. You seem to be in control of the meeting, and I'm okay with that. You have a very high energy around you. I feel the colors red and orange all around you. Sometimes it feels like butterflies and dragonflies and other chirpy things are flying around you. You seem busy. I dreamed about you right before your mommy became pregnant with you and Charlie. You are a force, Lulu. I love you so very much. We will play together in November, you and I and Charlie....