I'M CELESTIAL AND HERE'S HOW I KNOW....

Today, my daughter had to use my car while I babysat her children. My car's air conditioner is broken...and did I mention that it's been unseasonably hot this past week and a half? I mean HOT!..as in 105 degrees. Sure, the humidity has been under 20, but still, it's 105.

Also, my keys are heavy. Something I didn't realize. But they are. And when you get out of the car, you have to schlep them around with you when you get out of the car. Just cause...

Also, my daughter was driving my car during rush hour...while shopping and doing errands...

When she finally returned home (we found her on the front porch, drenched in sweat, loaded down with packages), she wasn't exactly what one would call "exuberant". She glared at me and all she said was..."your car...." and while handing me my keys said, "and these weigh a ton...".

So! After realizing that my poor daughter, who is used to traveling in a very comfy and clean, orderly car, with very functional air conditioning, had been through the mill and had, apparently dropped several kingdoms (just kidding), I realized that I must be celestial...because I don't cave into road rage given the conditions I drive in...especially during the 118 degrees I was used to driving in before I moved...yessir....I can hear the angelic choirs from here....or maybe that's just my daughter getting her back rubbed from her loving husband.....

whatever....

Words of wisdom....

This is something that my friend, Nelly, sent me over email. I found it full of wisdom. It had a calming influence and I wanted to share it. Read it carefully and ponder its message....hehe....

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest Psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile...

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.

6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity..

7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

There!! See? It really does work. You're smiling already.

NO, CLARK, NO!!!!

THE BOY AND I....

Little Eli and I have been out shopping. We went to buy housewares. We have had a blast. We looked at dishes (do we want to go shabby chic, bright red or safe white?) and glassware (we went with 3 sizes and decided we like curvy shapes versus angular), a waste can for the kitchen, groovy ornamental hooks for over the door in our bathrooms, lustrously soft, "awesome" bathmats that took our breath ("and our sensibilities") away, a 3-tier storage rack, Dad's birthday present (a series of nautical knots and flags on a banner) as well as lunch. We're exhausted.

Oh yea, We also enrolled him in college.

:)

HOW YOU KNOW YOU'RE VISITING TOO OFTEN AT YOUR GRANCHILDREN'S HOUSE

I reported to my daughter's house this evening at 4:00 pm for her and her husband to go out. I've been there...a lot...since I moved to the same neighborhood. We're having *ahem* a lot of bonding time together. Did I mention A LOT? My son-in-law has been quite patient.

Anyway, I knocked lightly at the door and no one answered. I wasn't sure if Em was home because I didn't see her car. It could have been in the garage, or she could have not even been home yet. I saw her husband' car in the drive. So...I just walked around to the back and let myself in. I began doing dishes and straightening up. Soon, the 2-year-old boy came down the steps and found me cleaning the kitchen. His eyes opened wide and his little face broke into a big grin. Without taking his eyes off of me, he leaned his head to the side and yelled up the steps, "DA DA, MOO MOO'S HOME!"

Yea...maybe I'm visiting too often....

MESSAGE TO KAISER-PERMANENTE!!!!

I was sitting in an urgent care waiting room last night for a *ahem* an bladder infection. No bueno. I called Kaiser Permanente, my insurance company, to schedule an urgent appointment with a physician and the phone triage nurse recommended to me that I go to the KP urgent care I got there at 7:30 PM and wasn't seen until 10:00. I would have gotten there at 7:00 but the MapQuest was wrong at EVERY MAJOR TURN!!! Every single one. Also, every single individual that checked in after me was seen before me. I was livid. But to start with it, I parked my car and went to the door in front of where I parked my car. For the record, I parked where the handicapped parking is, though I didn't use the handicapped spot. The door was locked and the sign on the door (of this huge, 3 story bldg) instructed me to "use the main entrance at the front of the building". Okay. Good thing I wasn't on crutches or in a wheel chair because there is no sidewalk to get there. An individual redirected to this door has to walk in the parking lot, back to the street and half a block down to the big front door, which is way up a hill. It's stupid as all get out.

Then the 2.5 hour wait. But while I was waiting, a mother and her adolescent daughter (poor girl) were sitting behind me and the girl had a fever of 105 degrees! Yes!!! I was sitting next to another mother whose poor daughter, roughly the same age as the swine flu girl, had a broken ankle. So, here broken ankle girl and myself (bladder lady) were sitting there exposed to flu girl. Don't you think Kaiser Permanente would have the foresight, given that EVERYONE and their brother knew this flu was coming, to separate those with flu symptoms from those who do NOT have flu symptoms? Doesn't that just seem reasonable? But noooo, not only were we all exposed to it, moi was overly exposed to it because my paper work got overly shuffled and I was left there to the very end.

However, as I'm trying (sometimes desperately) to be a better person in stead of a grouchy loner, I calmly accepted the fact that these things just happen. Maps can be wrong, bad building designs can happen, poor paper shuffling occurs, and since I was possibly exposed to a wretched viral infection, I can not see Em or the kids and had to cancel plans to visit the temple with friends from the desert today just in case I'm not carrying a virus that could infect them...I will remain calm and maintain presence of mind. I will not lose my temper. I will not speak unkindly. I will remain generous in my thoughts and actions.

But my message to Kaiser Permanente remains thus: SEPARATE YOUR WAITING ROOMS FROM THOSE WITH FLU SYMPTOMS AND THOSE WITH NON-FLU SYMPTOMS (FRACTURES, UTI'S, SLIGHT TRAUMAS, ETC). And frankly, you should be ashamed of yourselves! Sorry. Couldn't resist. But honestly!!!

REALLY? THERE'S NO GOD? DID ANYONE TELL GOD?