My uncle, Larry, is dying. He is the patriarch of my family. He is the brother of my father. He connects me to my past...my childhood...my roots. God blessed me with wonderful uncles...truly...and wonderful cousins because of them...this is a rarity in this day and age...something to treasure and feel gratitude for...
Larry and my dad, Sol, were very close. And they were close to their sister, Sophie (who went by Sally, don't know why...) And all of the kids were incredibly close to their mother, Sadie. Their little Yiddishe momma. She went by "Saint Sadie". I grew up with stories of her goodness and kindness. She was an ideal of who to strive to be like. It was an honor to perform her work in the temple several years ago. Great spiritual experiences have accompanied the temple work for this family as it has been performed in the temple. They are a spiritual lot. And now Larry....
I hope, in his hospice room, there is a chair for his mother...and his cherished brother Sol...because they're there. They're waiting...patiently...or maybe not too patiently...Dad never was known for his patience....oh...the love between those brothers...it was palpable...like the love between my cousins, Larry's sons-Jesse and Sandy...and the love between my brother David and I...and it's virtually identical to the love I witness between my sons...the love we nurtured between them and then stood back and watched as it stood on its own in a we'll-take-it-from-here-now kind of way.
So you see, I'm standing in the middle of this great ocean of generations and time. I feel the passage of love and family swooshing past me so quickly..."as if in a dream"...and I see the future....I see myself gone one day...and my children left to themselves...and they'll do fine, they really will...and one by one they'll be called over...and one day, those brothers will be separated...and the ocean keeps rolling...on and on and on...and it's all good and natural and we know where everyone is...now...and then...and later...we know...it's just these bittersweet moments when it all comes together...these pivotal moments when I can stand, if only briefly, on a precipice, and look back at where I've come from and ahead to where we're going and just, if only for a moment, just hold still and savor just one second while we're all here together...before we move on...nevertheless...we move...on.
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8 comments:
wow.
it sounds all too familiar. it tears at the heartstrings, but somehow, isn't it beautiful?
It is...well said.
I love you with all my heart and soul. Uncle Larry was a brilliant man. He was by far one of the most influential people in my life. I will miss him greatly.
Mommy your words bring a sence of calm and relief. You know what to say and the right time to say it. I love you and cheerish every moment I have with you on this world.
The world is losing a gentle, kind man. . . but, the next world is gaining him and I can't shake the excitement I feel for him to be reunited with his friends and family. . .it's amazing and beautiful for all those waiting. A little harder for us, but we'll see him again. I will really miss him. One of the nicest men I have ever known.
I have experienced a sadness permeating everything I see and do over the course of the last few days. It is as if we are about to lose a part of ourselves, our hope, our laughs, our memories. The only solace I have found is in your words. I smile at the thought of Grandpas Sol being there in the room with him, not-so-patiently waiting to escort Uncle Larry to a more comforting place. Thanks, DD. Wish you were here for a hug.
TT-I wish I was there as well...so badly sometimes....
Jette-He loved you very much-he still does!!!! We only take our relationships and that's grand!
Em-you're right, we need to remember the joy that is coming his way...oh, to be a fly on the way at THAT reunion!
That was very moving, Mom. Thanks.
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