"You don't have to look honey, but you always have to remember." (Sol Katz to Debbie Katz)

I get lots of funny things from my cousin, Jesse. They make me laugh...A LOT.

Sometimes, they make me think. And sometimes, they make me cry. And some of those times, they make me proud. Proud of my lineage, proud of my history and proud of my family. I share a link with history that not only goes back to the Old Testament, but also goes back barely over 60 years to the Holocaust. It's an ugly time in history. The death of over 6 million Jews, plus lots of others. But the stories of heroism and life are inspiring.

Through Jesse, and our cousins Billy and Bobby, I found a 2nd Cousin who had survived the camps. She is in her 80s and lives in LA with her son Andy, who works for Disney. In 2003, I interviewed her by telephone. She was wonderful. She had a sister named Stephanie. Ain't it grand how some names survive in families seemingly without the aid (or knowledge) of family members perpetrating them? I have found this to be true with the names of Eli, forms of the name Emily (Emma/Emmaline) and now Stephanie.

Anyway, she was beautiful and kind and accommodating about her story. She told me about her father Sam (my great uncle) and his great intelligence. He spoke five languages; escaped from a Russian prison; sold an encryption code to Israel in exchange for citizenship;etc. She also told me about being sent to the camps with her husband and baby son. While she was there, her sweet husband was killed. My heart stopped beating. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Her voice never quavered or paused. She said she was eventually released and made her way to New York to start her new life. I said, "Well, at least your son survived". And she said, "Oh no. I lost my baby boy also."

I couldn't speak. Her voice had no guile. No hate. She really did start over. She remarried. She was living with her boy now. I think of Job in the Old Testament. Replacement family.

I will copy what Jesse sent to me this morning and of course, I took editing license.....

It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. This is in memory of the six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated by the unenlightened unknowing German and Russian citizens looking the other way. Now, more than ever with Iraq and Iran and others claiming the Holocaust to be "a myth", it's imperative to make sure the world never forgets, because there are others who would like to do it again. And maybe this time, it wouldn't just be "The Jews". Maybe this time, it would be "Your Group"...Your kids, your mothers, your fathers, your religious leaders....are you willing to stand by and let this happen again?....to anyone?

"OH SURE, I CAN DO THAT"....Oh, no you can't...

So, the first mistake I made about the whole haircut thing was----> Impulsiveness. Yes, I know it's difficult to believe, but I tend towards impulsiveness.

I found a really cute haircut thing that I saw on a virtual make over link that my daughter Jette sent me. It was fun. I looked glam...really....I'm deadly serious.

So I printed it out and took it to the VERY FIRST SALON I saw. It was as empty as any business I've seen and still somehow be in business. There were three stylists (that I could discern, there may been another in the back-weeping) I was the only customer....bad omen....

I showed the first one to greet me, the picture and she said, "Oh sure, I can do that"....RED FLAG!

If I had been a stylist in that oh-so-dead salon and someone asked me if I could do a particular cut, no matter how weird or obtuse, I would have said the exact same thing, "Oh sure, I can do that!" Because I would be starving for business. In fact, if someone would have walked in and shown me a picture of a doorknob and asked me if I could build a house to match it, I would have said, "Oh sure, I can do that"...because I needed the business.

So....I sat down and every stylist came out and WATCHED. I'm serious again. I knew it was going to be bad because the stylist began talking....and talking....and talking...about her 11th grade daughter at Palm Springs High who is an actress and already has an agent and has been in a couple of commercials and is a cheerleader and who has a heart murmur which went undetected until last December and on and on it went for over an hour and it got so rambling and random that I noticed that when she was pulling up my hair and snipping, the shears weren't even touching the hair (!)...how could that be?

So now, I have a hair cut that doesn't look anywhere close to the picture I brought in. Nada, zip, zilch. So....I will once again wait it out....me and my hair....the hair is running a close second to my brain on "things that mess with me"....way to go, hair....way to go....

FOR THE BOWMAN SIX-AND THE FAMILY THEY ADDED...

This was a little project I was playing with at home and then I thought...hmmmm....I'm going to post it....the music is a little rough, but I love the song's lyrics because they reflect everything I feel...anyway, it's for the kids...and their spouses, whom I love, and their kids....I guess that makes us the Bowman 6 plus....

SOMETIMES THE QUESTION ISN'T ONLY "WHY AM I HERE" ....

Some of us get some really unnecessary email. It's called "spam" and if our email filters are working, we seldom see it. Oh sure, I still get email messages from Black singles in my area who want to meet me, as well as lots of new scientific breakthroughs to improve my manhood, but I digress.

Sometimes there are things that get through....things that we may or may not have remembered signing up for (okay, I'll speak for myself on this one) and they show up. I recently received such a message with a video attached and it was actually quite moving. As a rule, I don't like these things because I am so highly emotional the older I get that I tend to feel manipulated and I resent it. Humor, yes, I'll take it...with arms wide open. If something can make me laugh, I'll set up a room for it in the house...and did I mention that I'm a hermit?...now more than ever? Yes...

Anyway, the video was about the big question that we all ask ourselves, or we should ask ourselves at some point in our existence; "Why am I here?" Well, as Latter Day Saints, we address this question a lot in our studies and scriptures and we pretty much devote our mortal life to this question. The thing I like about this video that I received is the little question they tacked on at the end...in this video, it wasn't just about why we're here, the question also asked "for whom...."

YOU'RE WARNED: ANOTHER RANDOM IM CONVO-THIS TIME WITH ERIC...

This is part of a conversation that my son, Eric, and I had over instant messenging. It’s weird. I’m just warning you. It’s very weird. And random. Very random. Weird and random are the hallmarks of texts and IMs when you conversate with my sons. You must be prepared. And steel yourself for whatever may come...whatever....

We pick up on this conversation when Eric asks me how long I might expect to be off work, given the condition of my right knee...and then it devolves from that point....I warned you.....

DEBORAH: if I get my knee done, I'll could be out for about another year-according to my doctor

ERIC: oh no way!

DEBORAH: I know, right?-stoopid

ERIC: I saw his face and died once

DEBORAH: I'm on my fifth death

ERIC: i look good all black haired

DEBORAH: yea, you do

ERIC: big black beard

DEBORAH: arrrrgghhh *pirate voice*

ERIC: i trimmed the goatee a LOT

DEBORAH: oh, that's good

ERIC: yeah, it was PISSING ME OFF-being all THICK-I wanted to shave it off so bad

DEBORAH: it told me it was going to get really thick while you were sleeping

ERIC: grab the falling hair and pinch it

DEBORAH: pinch it hard

ERIC: take THAT!

DEBORAH: pinch it till it bleeds-then smack it for crying-no one likes crying hair

ERIC: If hair bled the barber shop would be a much different place

DEBORAH: HAHAHAHAHAHAH-OH MY FREAKIN GOSH-THAT IS GROSS

ERIC: it'd be a slaughterhouse

DEBORAH: of weeping hairs

ERIC: instantly swept into a bonfire--haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha

DEBORAH: without mercy because they were bad ingrown hairs

ERIC: I'm going to drink to that

DEBORAH: I'm planning my nightmare now

ERIC: I wish I could plan my dreams-i'd spend an hour a day doing that

DEBORAH: that sounds productive....

ERIC: or at night in the shower

DEBORAH: Dude-that IS productive-Actually, you can ask your mind to give you the dreams you desire for the evening while you're relaxing, ask for the dreams you wish, OR dreams with answers to your concerns. Crap. I have to go clean the house before P gets home

ERIC: hokay. love us.

DEBORAH: love us back

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED....AND SO IT GOES....

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED..

This was sent to me by my friend, Nelly. I don't know who wrote it, or I would give her credit...I'm assuming it's a "her". The editorial comments in red are mine...I had to get my own "stuff" in there, ya know? So...ENJOY!!!

Men are just happier people-what do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. (Don't get me started....)

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be the President.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. (Hell is full of professional car mechanics, okay, probably not)

The world is your urinal. (Sista friends, let's take back the woods, if you know what I mean)

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is "just too icky".

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. (word)

Same work, more pay. (I'd climb so far up HR's ....never mind....)

Wrinkles add character. (I'm steaming mad right now, ladies)

Wedding dress, $5,000, Tux rental-$100.00

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, all the time. (I experienced five moods just reading that sentence!!!)

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks. (Why? How?)

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all of your own jars. (But the only ones they want to open have pickles in them)

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. (Can I get a witness!!!)

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a 3-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. (Yes, yes, yes, yes)

You almost never have strap problems in public. (True...cause then there would be questions...)

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. (but the part moves closer to your ear)

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet, one pair of shoes-one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts-no matter what your legs look like.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. (Can I get an "amen"?)

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

BACK IN THE SADDLE...ME AND LITTLE ELI RUNNING ERRANDS, PICKING OUT FLOWERS, JAMMIN' TO A HYMN

So, I just picked up the boy from school and we ran a few errands. It was good to get out of the house and away from this ridiculous paper I'm writing for school. It's the end of the quarter and this paper is a doozy...and the horrible thing with papers such as these is that I end up with the horrible illnesses that I'm writing about...I'm convinced that my hippocampus is shrinking...it's shrinking quicker than the Wicked Witch of the (whatever direction she was from in the land of Oz) after Dorothy threw water on her....that was a long way to go for a chuckle wasn't it?....anyway, I picked up little Eli from school and we went to get fitted for a tux...he's going to his girlfriend's prom tomorrow night. I thought I'd drop him off and just wait, but no...he asked me to go in, which was nice...it's nice to be asked...so...in we went....he looked good too...and he went with pink accessories!...you know why?.....'cause he can.....

And then we went to the floral store where he picked out an arrangement for her to wear on her wrist....he asked me to go with him there as well, but I noticed that his confidence was growing so I just stood back and watched him and he did really well...he ordered a beautiful white arrangement...with an ORCHID...yea...how 'bout some props for the boy, eh?....and some little pink roses and rhinestones for accent....oh yea....he's a class act....

And THEN we walked down to the drug store to pick up his pictures for his Eagle Scout project and afterwards, to reward ourselves, we went to lunch at Taco Bell, which was fun. But the funnest thing was this, we were listening to my current, most-favorite CD, which is Steven Nelson Sharp-who is a cellist. The final song in the CD is, "Praise To The Man", which is a very Celtic rendition of that hymn. It's very very upbeat and it's one of my most favorite things to listen to. Anyway, little Eli also likes the song..so...there we were, siting in the carport, eating our tacos...listening to a jumpin' hymn....bopping our heads and tapping our feet-to which Eli said, "This makes me want to River Dance"...and he's half-Mexican...it must have resonated in that OTHER half, eh?....and as we jammed to the big finale of that killer hymn, with me beating the steering wheel and him bobbing his head, he said, "Yea, we're Mormons"....

Yep...we sure are.....And thanks little Eli, for getting me out and giving me back a little bit of life....

IN LOVING MEMORY OF DONALD LEE BOWMAN

I just returned from C-bus where I said goodbye to one of my oldest friends...who happened to be the father of my children. I've known Don for a long long time. Obviously we had our ups and downs, but you can't raise four children...four really good people....without building a relationship with each other. So up until virtually the very end, we were still finishing each other's sentences, quoting from the same old movies, and still reciting old favorite family jokes ("not only are your original eyes gone....").

Some of these remarks are from the words I spoke at his funeral. I still can't believe that last sentence. But anyway, as the kids got older, and we knew that they would bring others into the family (which is what they are supposed to do!), we took to calling ourselves The Bowman Six. It was our own little way of staying connected, I guess. Side note: As we huddled ourselves together football style, the day after the funeral, the kids and I, Eli called us "The Bowman Five" and then said, "One day, we'll be "The Bowman Four" and then "The Bowman Three" and finally, "The Bowman One". At this point, Emily said, "Yea, I'll be really sad that day", while snickering-implying that she was going to outlive everyone. Eli quickly retorted-"Don't worry, Dad can keep you company". Yea...that's the Bowmans.....never a dull moment.....

We fell in love with our children-in-law. They are gifts that our kids brought to the family. And through them, we received our grandchildren. And because of this, Don and I learned that we don't divide our love, we multiply it. We learned that lesson together.

And my last lesson from Don is this: None of us, not one, have any right to expect another day. It is a gift and we should treasure it. This is my last gift from Don Bowman. my final and lasting gift. And I didn’t get a chance to thank him. But, I can thank him now. I can thank him by cherishing my time with my children. And they can thank him by cherishing their time with their spouses. No time for anger. No time for pettiness. No time for not appreciating each other and we can use the time we have each day by thanking Heavenly Father for another day with the ones we love.

Soooo.....way to go Don....ditch me with all these kids.....like I have ANY idea what to do...."you just keep thinkin' Butch"......

AND SO WE SOLD SOME OF THIS STUFF AT THE GARAGE SALE....

Today was our final (?) garage sale before we move. We still don't know where we're going...it's rather exciting to live on the edge like this...expecting to take off at the spur of the moment....not knowing, just kind of "at the ready" all the time. Life with the hubs...never a dull moment (sometimes I'd kill for a dull moment, but that's another entry)....Anyway, while I was walking around looking at things, I thought I'd snap a pic here and there while he was chatting (English and Spanish) at our neighbors and (new) friends...he's a chatty, friendly guy and everyone who speaks with him leaves liking him. He's amazing like that...truly...

So! Here's what left our house today....

Big chalk...
A pitchfork...cause someone might be lookin', ya know?....
some miscellaneous toys in the bottom of a box....
some shells wrapped in netting spilling out of a dusty enamel coffee pot...
a really really big chain....
lots and lots of extension cords....
some lobster cages because I can't tell you the number of lobster we've caught here in the desert...they are EVERYWHERE....
some of my weird books...okay, "Gift From the Sea" from Anne Lindbergh isn't weird...it's beautiful...but I have a couple of copies so I let it go.....
this represents 1/100th of the hub's tools....1/100th...yes, you read that right.....
these are just a few of the cowboy boots that the hub has collected over the years....we love our cowboy boots...all makes and models....they are FUN!!!!....
So...whatever isn't sold by 5:00 pm gets put on the curb with a big "FREE" sign..and if it's halfway decent, it goes to the DI bin at church to be repurposed...

It's almost over. It's almost over it's almost overit'salmostoverit'salmostoverit'salmostover.....

I FORGOT ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT GROWING UP IN 1960S COLUMBUS OHIO....

FLIPPO