EMMY AND ME IN THE HAT...AND EM LOOKS LIKE WENDY

Hewo. My niece Tiff is going to show Mom my blog today so I wanted to update it with some pics we took recently of Em and I in my fun wool hat. Emmy looks beautiful and incredibly like my mother. Those genes just jumped right over my generation and landed full on upon hers. Amazing...So enjoy Mom...I love you so much!!!

THINSPO FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!

For those who have been mentally healthy for as long as they can remember (poor souls), "thinspo" is eating-disorder-speak for thinsperation or thin inspiration. So, now you know.
I received my Netflix DVD of America's Next Top Model Cycle One, Disc One...Discs two and three are forthcoming because I'm now up to a 3-at-a-time DVD habit..*sniff*...*tremor*...so my thinspo will be to watch ridiculously skinny people catfight their way to a life of never-ending hunger, empty feelings and souless coworkers....YAY...here's Tyra-their Queen and Master whom they serve.

And then I bought this...

This is a bike built for a mature woman...I know this because the paper work said so and if it's in print, it MUST be true. It has 7 speeds (or gears, I don't know what they are, I have to learn how to shift something other than a paradigm) a cushy seat, and the handle bars are higher and closer to the seat for back and neck comfort. Frankly, I thought they were a little too close and thought perhaps I had found a bike better suited for a middle-aged thalidamide baby until Rocky, who was stocking the fishing poles (as I was biking by in WalMart) told me how to adjust the seat. I must have appeared to have strayed too far from the circus. Let me set the image for you here. Rocky has red hair that's "styled" in a mullet and the back of his hair was in a braid. He wore a baseball cap. He was the approximate volume of my left thigh. Rocky is very very kind and helpful. He spoke slowly to me with raised eyebrows, as one would to an educably retarded cousin. I rode the bike out of the store to my car.

So, I will get fit if it kills me, or humiliates me, whichever comes first.

MAE SNEAKED THE CAMERA!!!!

I was at Em's today playing and visiting. Emmy and I have the exact same cameras so as I was packing up to leave, I turned on the camera to make sure it was mine...and it was then thatI discovered that little Miss Mae was a double-secret photographer...I present the evidence (taken in her bedroom and in the loft):

I actually really like this pic. These are bags full of children's clothing. What I enjoy about the photo is the pattern of the color red against the white bags...I like the "pop" of the red color and the random streakiness of the shape. Good eye Mae!

Moo putting laundry away...sneaky Mae.

Pretty Mommy stopping by to say "Hi"!

Clarkie BUSTED!!!!!

Mae's window seat in her bedroom...again, nice eye I thought.

Mae has a doll (her "sister") named Bella and this is her furniture. Not pictured is the elaborate pink kitchen.

Moo's revenge. This is one exhausted little paparazzi...she fell asleep waiting for her Mom and I...look at her little feet, all sandled up and on top of her purse...cutest photog ever...

PALM SPRINGS CALIFORNIA WINDMILL FARM

As I drive north out of Palm Springs towards the I-10, I am always amazed at the windmills...there are acres and acres of these things and they are down here on the valley floor, as well as up on the sides of the mountains. They are amazing to behold, especially on a clear day, which I did NOT have today. But, here they are as I saw them today. me out.

ROAD TRIP TO JOSHUA TREE NATIONAL PARK...THX TO VETERANS

Today we went to Joshua Tree, Me, Peter and the dogs, Snoopy and Buddha.
We took Route 62...a long and steep drive up to the altitudes where the Joshua Trees grow. We took a dirt road, a new "back way" to the park, and snapped photos of the some of the beautiful blossoms present in the desert right now. We also saw alpacas, a pheasant, a blackbird (of course, always) a "chick-monk" (what the kids always called them), and various other lifeforms. Buddha kept trying to get into the front seat and when he finally did, we discovered he wanted to be under Peter's legs while Peter was driving...the pics were so cute, I couldn't resist. Those two are inseparable. Finally got to the park. Found a great place to explore, the dogs loved it. We climbed the rocks, the dogs wanted to but couldn't make it up the side of the rock due to the lack of opposable thumbs and other issues. We have the series of Peter climbing the rocks...he's really good. He knows how to leverage his body, his arms and legs and everything to just jump and sway and BAM! He's made it. So then, because I enjoyed watching him get up there so much, naturally, I enjoyed watching him get down, but not before he struck his famous pseudo-martial arts post. It has no meaning whatsoever but we must have dozens of pics of him doing this exact same pose. It's weird, but funny. And if you look closely, it's appears that I'm married to Dwight Shrute from The Office...yea. The last pic is of me wearing my funny knit hat that irritated my sister at the Eddie Bauer Warehouse...so while we shopped I followed her around while wearing it. But, here it protects my ears from the wind. And so...ta dah!!!!! Such was the day at Joshua Tree. Now, the photos are reversed in that, the last are first and the ones at the bottom are the beginning of the trip so scan down to the bottom photos first then up...sorry...still learning... me out.












Obviously, this poor Joshua Tree has lost its contact and can't seem to locate it...that's irritating.








Buddha sneaking up front to be where the action is.

Buddha's hiding spot under Peter's legs while he drove. Probably not safe but oh so adorable.

We don't know what this old tower was...jail?...look out post?...light house in the middle of the desert?...who knows?

Peter behind bars...cool pic huh?

"The Long and Dirty Road"...

This is where they grow pretty Eddie Bauer sweaters...there's one resting over there.

These pheasant shrieked to us, made us look at it, shrieked again and waited for us to back up and take its picture....prideful?...maybe, but definitely a pleasant pheasant.

Peter thinks this plant looks like it came from Mars...I think it looks like it came from Planet Geek.

These little pink blossoms form what appear to be little paper laterns...cute!

The long road (Route 62) up to the high desert.

Old Man Snoopy is actually smiling while waiting in the car.

Buddha doesn't quite seem to know yet what's going on.

Guess who cut her own hair?

I did...I'm interested in seeing where my authentic white hair is and where my authentic silver is so I cut it off in the bathroom last night...,we shall soon see. When the real stuff starts to grow in, I'll have it cut back and the games will begin. It would be interesting to see how long it would be and what colors it would have by the time I was done with the degree and everything. So, that's that. me out

P.S. For those who care, when Peter came home, my hair was "normal". After my shower, it was short. He didn't notice for a couple of hours and then he said, "Did you cut your hair or something?"....yea...

GUESS WHO GOT A NEW CAMERA FOR MOTHER'S DAY???

I DID...

SOMETIMES IT JUST "WORKS"

I love the television show, "THE OFFICE"...I LOVE IT. My daughter Emmy was nice enough to loan me the first three seasons on DVD so I could watch it at my leisure. I became a woman obsessed. Little Eli, who is a great sport, by the way, watched along with me because he has a refined sense of the absurd and a stunningly sarcastic take on life...you're welcome Eli...anyway, the office has a delightful piano intensive theme song and after hearing it played maybe....I don't know....once or twice...ahem...little Eli called me into his room. I walked in and he was sitting at his keyboard smiling and he started playing...yeppers...the Office theme song...it was so cute and kind and funny and talented...everything that Eli is...I'm a lucky lady...and I keep telling Eli how lucky HE is...I don't know, maybe he's listening....

"TELL ME THE DEEPEST DESIRE OF YOUR HEART"

That's a question that John Tesh poses to people periodically and he claims it stops them in their tracks. I'm reading his new book, "Intelligence For Your Life". I think this can be a complicated answer for members of the Church...or am I just complicating it more than I need to? (A distinct possibility.)

I mean, for Saints, our deepest desire, the motivating purpose of our mortal journey is to be worthy to attain (and maintain) an eternal family for...well....eternity. That single idea focuses our attention and influences everything we say, do, and think. It impacts our decisions and we use our gift of free will to return home to a Heavenly Family and eternal joy. This is our purpose in life. So, outside of that...and don't get all nazi-mormon on me and say, "YOU CAN'T STEP OUTSIDE OF THAT, YOU'RE WICKED AND EVIL, REPENT!!!"....just take your meds and find another blog to read, okay von-Scooter?

Outside of that, while we're here in mortality, what are we doing? I'll quote Tesh as he defines the deepest desire of one's heart, because it's tricky...

"We are all born with our own personal desires, but a great many of us spend our lives denying those desires and instead go with what the world would have us do. Or maybe we just eventually give up and distract (or drown) ourselves in video games, text messaging, shopping, food, alcohol, or some other self-medicating habit...

What is that one thing, when you are doing it, that causes you to lose track of time? What do you do that gives you great pleasure and a sense of purpose without regard to monetary reward?" (italics added)

I would really appreciate some feedback here...I know you get on my blog and read my words...I can even tell what city you're from...thanks "Feedjit", but I would really and truly enjoy your responses...not just to this post, but to any and all of my posts (thanks for the prompt frizzlefry)...it's my connection to friends. Many of you are regulars and I appreciate you and thank you for your time...now I need the rest of you....pppplllleeeaassseeee.

So, here, while I'm trying desperately to get everything arranged to start this maddening, hectic, graduate curriculum figured out and kicked into gear, -what, pray tell, are some of the deepest desires of your hearts?

I know for a fact that I love connecting with a person heart to heart or spirit to spirit and I can do that by teaching. I love sharing information in a way that grabs someone by their brain, popping their eyes wide open, and then watching their ego dance around the hole created by the piercing of all those increasing IQ points...hehheh I love that graphic...oh, I'm a sick puppy....

So share, por favor....much love...

AND THANKS TO THE DONOR...

This is my bone-headed brudder. Yes, I'm the attractive one. We're less than a year apart in age...in a less PC time, that would make us "Irish twins"...that, and the fact that our Mother's maiden name is McCoy is simply icing on the ethnic-slur-cake that has been our lives together...eat your heart out Rachel Ray.

David calls me Dawd because he couldn't say Debbie when he was a fetus...whatev...I call him "Doov" because that's the sound of the first syllable of his name in Yiddish...because I'm clever...and have been since I was a fetus....and our dad's last name is Katz!!!

David lost the sight in his left eye because he was running with scissors...no...he got a BB gun for his birthday...no...his eye was the site of a gang war between some bacteria, amoebae and staph...and the result was an eye with no vision left in it, throbbing with pain and now with a cataract, which robbed it of its beautiful green color with gold flecks...which he stole from me, I might add. It was so bad, one of the myriad drops he was putting in his eye was POOL CLEANER...I kid you not...

And now to the reason of my post. Today, due to the kindness of an individual who died with a perfectly healthy eye and a generous spirit, my brother received a cornea which, at this point, is working out quite nicely. There are no words available for communicating our family's gratitude...our stunned amazement at a person's surviving family who had the presence of mind while enduring the agony of grief to give up pieces of their loved one to make others happier and healthier.

My brother and his family were permitted to write a thank you note to the donor's family, though they may never know who it is or was that was responsible for his new eye and renewed vision but they wrote it. I just wish the donor's family could feel what we feel. My heart is full. I have told my family for years that if something should happen to me, please donate whatever is usable, but I never considered any one that I love being a "receiver", if you will.

So, thank you, to all donors and to all donor's families. God bless you and keep you in your time of grief and always. Thank you for paying it forward...again and again and again...

INNER DIALOGUE IN WHICH OUR SHERO RESPONDS TO QUESTIONING

Q: So, what do you do all day,actually?
A: Try to figure out a way to stay in the house, or at least on the property.

Q: Why is that?
A: Because I don't want to leave. If I have to leave the house for something, it usually involves some sort of aggravation doesn't it? Am I right? There are very very few exceptions aren't there? Come on, that's quite tough to argue with.

Q: You must know how unhealthy that sounds.
A: Really? I think it sounds really rather straight forward. It's a strategy, you see.

Q: But what if everyone felt this way? What if we all just stayed inside when we didn't want to deal with "aggravation" as you call it?
A: What about it?

Q: Well, can't you see the horrible problems it would cause? No one would teach school, no one would vote, no one would shop for food or do their banking or go to work. It would be chaos or anarchy!
A: Your tone is quite strident right now. Why do you think that is?

Q: Well! It's madness to maintain your position! People can't hide away, the world would fold up and civilization would cease to exist!
A: Perhaps you're right, you're actually beginning to go from strident to mad-within one small paragraph. Is someone with you that you can source some comfort from or to be with you now during this time?

Q: What the hell are you talking about? I'm not the crazy one! You're the one hiding from the world! You're the one who won't leave the house!
A: Quite right. Well, I should consider getting out more, before you lose all of your marbles entirely. Thank you. I'm glad we've had this conversation.

Q: What the hell just happened here?
A: Don't know, but I think you owe me money.

MOTHERS' DAY

Here's a shout out to moms everywhere...*insert loud WHOOP here*

A brief note to Wendy: Mom, thanks for everything...for being strong when you wanted to fall apart...for the 6,195 warm meals every night while I was growing up...for accepting by boyfriends...and for believing that the pot that fell on your foot when you borrowed my car (all those years ago) really belonged to my brother...love you mom.

A note to my daughter Jette: Thank you for your compassionate spirit and unconditional love...the entire family has always marveled at your ability to see past the package and love the contents...your sensitivity has been your biggest challenge and your greatest gift...thank you for giving us Alex and the lessons he has taught-they are also lessons of unconditional love,isn't that interesting?...and for Emma Jane, that sweet, loving, sensitive young girl I want to snatch away and put in my luggage each time I visit...thanks also for the Jettisms "You know, in France, snails are considered a delicatessen" and upon turning 15 you gushed excitedly (before thinking) "Wow, I'm halfway to 25!"...your beauty continues to unfold as you mature into womanhood and I love it when we get to be together and do things as friends and partners...oh Jette, I miss you so much sometimes my arms ache...you're my little bird and I want you back in my nest so badly...but I don't want to chew your food and regurgitate it back into your mouth so I feel better already...I love you my sweet first born...

A note to my daughter Emmy: Thank you...I almost don't have words for the gratitude I feel for you...I must first tell you how beautiful you are...I get lost in those blue eyes...I have from the very beginning, the same eyes that Clarkie has...and that dimple, again, the same one that Clarkie has...I wish you could see your beauty from my eyes honey...you would stand all amazed. I love to watch you mother your children...I could sit in your GROOVY NEW FAMILY ROOM CHAIR (JACOB)and watch you interact with your beautiful children hour after hour...there is nothing cuter than listening to Mae gush about her newest princess dress or hearing Clarkie's fat feet slap across the wood floors as he runs towards his mommy laughing all the way...I love the way you care for your family, which always includes me...I love you my sweet fair-haired girl...

A note to my sister Stephanie: What can I say? Thanks for making dinner fun from the very beginning...making airplanes sounds as the spoonfuls of peas or carrots "landed" in my mouth...but I'm an adult now so it's just kind of embarrassing when we go out, okay? You are my sister/mom and I will always love you. Thank you for all you do with and for Mom. I know it can't be easy and I stand in awe of you seemingly never ending energy when it comes to driving, schlepping, cleaning, and running errands for and with Mom...you are earning valuable good-daughter points which can be redeemed later in heaven for lovely prizes...one day, we'll all want to do it over and over...love you sis.

A note to my TT: Yikes! You're not even supposed to be Mommy yet you little squirt! You're my slumber party buddy...one day we'll tell the kids how I used to put make-up on you, stick a floppy hat on your head, make you sit on telephone books, put a cigarette in your hand and drive slowly up and down campus with your window down...yea, you were cool...but for crying out loud, don't tell Katherine yet, she'll hate me!!! I marvel at you honey...you juggle so many things at once and your children are beautiful and kind and talented...Thanks especially for tackling, quite ably I might add, mother's estate...no easy task I'm certain...love you TT xoxo

And finally, a note to my girls my home, my daughters-in-law: Abby, thank you for loving Eli. Thank you for accepting the Gospel. Thank you for making it possible for him to serve a mission. I'm not sure if you understand how powerful an influence you have been in my sweet baby boy's life...I shudder to think what his life would have been like without his mission...thank you Ab-ba-dab...you are wonderful honey and you will be a wonderful mother..

Holly-hey girl, are we in love with you or what?...I couldn't have hand-picked a better person for Bub...we are crazy in love with you...and the family connections are blowing me away...your grandfather was Eric's dad's scout leader growing up...isn't that a stitch?...and you're from Jackson with a family name which leads up to believe we're "connected" in genealogy...but we'll let that go until the kids are born with recessed chins and stick out ears...Holly, we love you madly and look forward to a lifetime of laughter and love with you.

Momma Hebdon: I don't think your mothering ever ends!!!! We have raised babies together and then, you just kept going!!!! I have always marveled at how you did things...your ability to function on no sleep, to hold shoes together with duct tape, to look beautiful at any time, these gifts of your always amazed me...well, your children are beautiful, as is your life...well done my old friend...well done...

Moms are great...to quote someone (other than me) half the world is mothers and the other half came from mothers...nice....

Here's what I think about Satan...since you asked...

Satan is referred to as the Father of Lies...correct?....and if someone is abusive...REALLY abusive...say, to children, the abuser was probably abused as a chlid....he learned that behavior from someone else....it's transgenerational...the abused become the abusers (if they're not healed by love)....so, in these instances, if each preceding generation is responsible for "modeling" or corrupting the generation it's caring for, then if you go alllllllll the way back, and the sins are "answered upon the heads of the fathers"...then Satan has the hugest catchers mitt in the universe, right? And since the Plan of Salvation seems to operate on polarity (to my mind), then Satan is the counterpoint to the Atonement...If Jesus was loving and perfect enough to atone for our sins and take them away from us, conditional upon our being loving to one another and obedient to His commandments, then...I think Satan kinda sorta RECEIVED all of those sins....OR WILL in a future time...does that make sense?....so all the acts of terrorism by 16 year olds and the shootings done by children and the acts of hideous violence and crimes against humanity...all of that will be answered upon the head of Satan...the counterpoint to the Atonement....I'm open to discussion on this, whether I know you or not...please feel free to share....thx.

A New Dog?????

Well, is anyone else having their hearts broken nightly by the Sarach MacLachlan commercial about homeless cats and dogs?...She's singing that mournful, haunting, beautiful song, which I actually used to hum while rocking my silent baby Alex to sleep...

"In the arms of an angel, fly away from here, from this dark, cold hotel room, and the emptiness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelry. You're in the arms of the angels. May you find some comfort here."

I cannot watch that commercial...there's a little one-eyed dog that looks exactly like Buddha...so Buddha gets a little extra cuddle when it comes on...so, while humming that song, I found myself in front of...yes...Animal Samaritans...and did they have any dogs?...YES...and did they have any little dogs?...YES...and what kind was it?....PURE BLACK DACHSUND/CHIHUAHUA MIX...was she full grown...YES, SHE'S A SQUIRT...did we fall in love with each other?....MUST YOU ASK?...

I'm taking Buddha over this afternoon to get acquainted...please, somebody adopt her before I get there....pppuuuhhhllleeesseeee.

Oh, and her name is "Abby"....I am serious.

RANT ABOUT CORPORATE GREED...

Not much to report...it's an "errands run" kind of day...icky...painfully expensive with gas being what it is....remember when $3.00 a gallon wasn't good news?...now $4.00 a gallon is waiting 'round the corner to nip our butts and wallets...I can hear him...he's snickering...and you know what..."I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore"

OPEN LETTER TO THE OIL COMPANIES AND OTHER CORPORATE CRIMINALS MAKING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OFF THE WORKING CLASS...

I never use the Lord's name in vain but there comes a time when it's not a curse word-it's an actual curse. Here goes, May God damn the greedy, psychopathic Presidents, CEOs, CFOs and C-everthing-Os, as well as the board of directors on all the companies profiting in an unholy and greedy manner from the people who work for a living-in any country. Really Mr/Ms Corporate thang?...do we really have to choose between filling our tanks and eating meat with our dinners?...having basic cable TV?...seeing the Grand Canyon?...visiting grandparents?...really, you greedy bastards? Part of me wants to delete this post right now and walk away, and I probably will later...but not yet...not now...and here's something you may not have counted on...us "little" people, the grunts, the workers, the families, the average schmoes waiting in line to pump our gas and go to work and keep our little world spinning...we're just way more powerful than you think...we have faith and family and humor and hard work and you cannot keep us down forever...YOU CANNOT KEEP US DOWN...so take your big dividend checks and your corporate bonuses and put them where the sun doesn't shine cause they will NOT buy you happiness and they will NOT buy you vindication in any court where good, kind, hard working and trusting people are represented...especially if that court is on high and not of this world...you'll end up there...and so will I...so I guess I should apologize now for calling you bastards....YOUR TURN...

DRAGONFLIES AND DAMSELFLIES (and little lambs eat ivy)-you have to be of a "certain age" to get that...

BIG MAN ON CAMPUS-APPARENTLY, HE'S FORMING A "C"

THESE PICS ARE STUNNING AND THEREFORE, I DIDN'T TAKE THEM

I THINK IT'S PRETTY APPARENT THAT THE LITTLE GIRL ABOVE IS GETTING MARRIED

Well, we survived the night, tho I'm telling you, my bed shook and trembled for prolonged periods of time and I do not know if it was due to after-shocks or the beating of the wind blowing my house off it's foundation...so trippy...

This morning, however, is blue and wind-free. I walked the dogs down to the golf course, which was stunningly green...we like to go to a place that isn't actually "golf course" per se, but is manicured and beautiful...there is a little stream with ducks and such...kinda of a wetlands thingy...anyway, today, unknowingly, I walked into a swarm of DRAGONFLIES...it was crazy...I didn't even know they traveled in swarms...maybe they don't and this was just a coincidence...or a council...or perhaps a revolution, who knows. Anyway, they buzzed and flew about but it was more toontown than terror-ville...so, the day is good already...me out.